quite e-musing

Simple things: a bath

2009-10-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

We took this inflatable duck tub to Ethiopia to bathe Taye in (they only have sinks or showers there). We brought it home and kept using it so we could bathe him separately from everyone else in case he had any parasites/rashes/bugs, etc. Good thing we did because he tested positive for giardia. Until he has enough negative tests, we will continue to bathe him in the duck. (This involves thoroughly sanitizing his ducky tub, bath toys, and the bathtub every time we give him a bath)

The most challenging part of bathing Taye is taking good care of his hair. First we lather with “Dark and Lovely” shampoo.

Next we have to comb or pick through his hair to try to get out tangles or snarls.

Apparently we need to lather once more (I think it feels good to rub his head after all the pulling from combing out his super gnarly curls)

Rinse. (He really IS smiling here—just another of Taye’s “funny faces”)

Next up: Product!

We “schmear” this kid with lotion from heat to toe. Literally.

Pick through the hair yet again.

Rub on some “Africa’s Best” hair oil.

Then we goof off a little bit. Mommy cannot WAIT until he can pull off the pick-in-hair look!

Finally, we are “all done”!

…and I’m exhausted.

Thankfully we only have to do the bathing/hair washing part twice a week.

In the words of Liz Lemon...

2009-02-06T18:27:00.001-08:00

I want to go to there.

From now on, you can meet me at http://jennascott77.wordpress.com/

That's better

2009-02-05T17:36:00.000-08:00

Oh my, this is much better. I think I wasn't writing as much because it was very hard to read the highlighter yellow print on the electric purple background I had previously chosen for my blog.

I'm not thrilled with this template yet, but at least it's a step in the right direction. Having everything go from from top left to bottom right has definitely made me feel a lot more balanced.

I'd love to have Dan get me all designered up so my blog better reflects who I am, but he's one busy guy.

Hopefully I'll get more up here soon. Doing lots of thinking about rebuke and correction, the phenomenon that is Facebook, and some pretty crazy stuff that's happened to us recently.

Alas, Thursday night TV is beckoning and I need some brain-mushing to happen to help assuage my headache. And just plain entertain and relax me.

Then a few more chapters of Suite Française, and off to la-la land before working the Auto Show tomorrow.

Book Review: This is Your Brain on Joy

2009-02-02T11:13:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading This Is Your Brain on Joy: A Revolutionary Program for Balancing Mood, Restoring Brain Health, and Nurturing Spiritual Growth.

I was surprised that I looked forward to reading more about my brain each night. Written so that a non-medical person can understand the brain, its functioning, and how it relates to behavior, you are led on a virtual tour of your brain complete with photos of brain scans showing what normal brain function in each area looks like as well as what abnormal function looks like as well.

I appreciated the humor, science, medicine, research, and the applicable sections in each chapter which recommended how you and your physician can best help you overcome brain function challenges using nutrition, supplements, medication, scripture meditation, aromatherapy, exercise, music therapy, cinema therapy (lists of movies) as well as listing additional resources for further reading and study.

I was reminded that taking care of my body and charge of my health is within my own reach. That understanding brain function is becoming more and more understandable. That things like anger, ADD, depression, and anxiety are brain illnesses that are easily treated and that medication is not the sole option for treatment.

Although there was a lot of talk about the SPECT scans (SPECT = Single Photon Emission Computed Tomography), it was balanced with other forms of evaluation and therapies.

I have re-started taking Omega-3 fish oil tablets, downing handfuls of fresh blueberries, ensuring plenty of "good fats" in my diet, trying to rest more, remain hydrated, not depend on caffeine so much, and know that exercise would really give me a boost but one step at a time is about all I can do.

On a final note, I loved the raised imagery on the cover.

Our kids are cute

2009-02-01T08:20:00.000-08:00

(1) Liam bouncing at Elliot's birthday party
(2) Elli trying on a size 6 dress with wishful thinking
(3) Addi and a cupcake at Elliot's birthday party

Something new--making flour tortillas

2009-01-28T10:23:00.000-08:00

Flour tortilla recipe (makes 8)

2 cups flour (all-purpose or bread flour, cake flour should be avoided)
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
3/4 cup warm water
11/2 tsps salt

I mixed all the ingredients in my KitchenAid using the pastry paddle 'til it was a nice stretchy ball of dough.

Then I divided the dough into eight round-ish balls.

While heating up the heaviest frying pan I own over medium heat (Rachael Ray always says have the pan waiting for you, not the other way around) I began rolling out the tortillas. (Note: the heavier the pan the easier it is to control the heat. A cast iron fry pan would be ideal for making tortillas.)

Sprinkle some flour onto the counter or use a Silpat mat and roll out each ball of dough into a flat circle about 6 inches in diameter. Don't worry if they're not perfectly circular.

Place your tortilla directly into the frying pan. You don't need to add any oil to the pan, they won't stick.

When you see bubbles popping up all over the top of the tortilla, it's done.

Take it off the heat and cover with a clean dishtowel as you repeat the process.

You don't need to cook the tortillas on both sides as they're so thin they'll cook through from the bottom. Cooking on only one side will make a better tortilla.

I filled ours with shredded beef (leftover from a pot roast), a "secret sauce", then topped with cheese.

As you can see, they were a huge hit with Dan and I. If I had offered the kids the ingredients separately and allowed them to make their own, they might have been more apt to eat them.

I think the entire process was 15 minutes start to finish. I told a friend I was going to try tweaking the recipe to add some healthier flour, and up the amount of water while reducing the amount of shortening.

slight differences

2009-01-27T06:02:00.000-08:00

Today the girls got weighed and measured. I was shocked that only 5 pounds and 5 inches separate them. They are 18 months apart in age, but so very close in size. Will they be "sharing" clothes soon? Fighting over them?

Ellison Jennaye, currently 4 yrs and 2 months old
32 pounds 39 inches
Wears size 4T or 5T size 9 1/2 or 10 shoe

Addison Mabel currently 2 years 9 months old
27 pounds 34 inches
Wears size 2T (tightly) or 3T size 7 1/2 or 8 shoe

Today was a good day

2009-01-22T16:41:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day. For like a gazillion reasons.

I got to work at a car seat check. It's awesome to be in a fire station, to just walk in and somehow "belong" there. To work with other volunteers from all vocations from hospital and social workers to police and fire department volunteers. I sported an Ada Bible Church T-shirt since everyone else wears a T-shirt advertising their workplace. I hope I did Jesus and ABC proud today. I love helping people, making kids safe, making them laugh, holding little kids while parents and caregivers learn something new. I try to send love and good vibes to each person I come into contact with, because most of the people who stop in probably don't get a whole lot of either.

Our dishwasher got fixed today thanks to a service-based social network site our church has set up called, "The Common". Not having to pay out our ear for a plumber's services is a HUGE thank you Lord. We've been hand-washing dishes for about 6 months now, so having the dishwasher back is just a gift. (We do, however, need to get a water softener. Research forthcoming...)

We found out that we moved up 2 slots on the waiting list for our adoption. We are now officially # 5.

I got my first bag of clothes and shoes donated for the Michigan Moms sale today. So excited! I've had a good handful of friends and acquaintances happily express their willingness to share a bag of clothes or goods, make some brand-new stuff that we can add to the sale, donate proceeds from a home-show, or use contacts to request items from artisans that can give goods we can sell. I love it.

Dan made dinner tonight and it was fabulous. Pot roast and the best ever blueberry muffins. I ate 3 muffins. Oh, so good. I am so thankful for him having a flexible schedule that allows me to do the car seat safety thing.

We're planning to cook and take dinner to my brother and sister-in-law's apartment tomorrow night. A totally fun and free night out. My kids cannot wait to see "an apartment" and eat dinner and Uncle G and Aunt Kara's house.

There's more, but I've got to wind down. I need more days like today. They just bolster my spirit.

Thursday night TV will be on shortly. What a TREAT!

Car seat check Thursday Jan 22

2009-01-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

Grand Rapids Safe Kids Car Seat Check
Come see me in action, but more importantly make sure your kids are safe in your vehicle.

Thursday
January 22, 2009

Noon-3:30pm (no appointment is necessary)

Grand Rapids Fire Department (2541 Kalamazoo St. SE - between Alger and Kalamazoo) Call 391-7233 with questions.

Creative entrepreneurialism for a good cause

2009-01-20T10:55:00.000-08:00

I have purchased a table at the West Michigan Mom's sale(which is like a giant, winter, indoor garage sale) so that I can sell extra clothes, toys, and whatever else I find in the basement, kids' rooms etc. My goal is lofty. I've heard that other sellers have made up to $800 at these sales before. I have my hopes set on making $1,000.

I KNOW we don't have enough stuff to sell to reach that goal on our own, but I'm hoping you and I might be able to mutually help each other out without you having to dig into your wallet or crack your checkbook.

If you have gently used baby/children’s clothing (up to size 8), toys, baby gear, baby/toddler furniture, and maternity items that you are no longer using that are just sitting in boxes and bags taking up space in your home, I would be happy to take them off your hands and add them to my sale items.

If you would like to make or purchase items to donate to this sale, even better. I will take anything. I will even pick up items if you are local.

Thank you for helping us make it possible to handle some unexpected expenses without going into debt. Thanks in advance for the trash bags full of clothes, cardboard boxes of toys and games you will give, and especially for the lovingly-made items I know some of you are capable of making that will bring in good $ at this sale.

The sale takes place Saturday, March 28 at 9am at the DeltaPlex Arena, so I will need anything you are donating by Saturday, March 21 so I can sort and price items.

Thank you so much for your generosity and supporting us in this really exciting journey.

You can e-mail me at jennascott77@gmail.com for our address to drop-off or send donations to.

~Jenna

Christmas pics--part 2

2009-01-19T07:46:00.001-08:00

Addison waiting so patiently for the "go ahead and open" directive--her puppy dog eyes got a ".
Liam LOVES to build, so TinkerToys were perfect for him

His amazement when he opened "I can't believe I got the robot I always wanted" was something we will never forget. (Especially since I had gently tried to encourage him not to get his hopes up because of the amount of $$ it cost--Grandma and Poppie walked into a DEAL that was truly heaven sent!)

Hooray for kindergarten and writing skills--writing a letter to Santa listing which cookie each child had hand-picked for him.

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gCnPxLQ1D_o/SXSgfzpAIhI/AAAAAAAAAVw/cSLY64APAoc/s1600-h/Addi.jpg"></a> Addison waiting so patiently for the "go ahead and open" directive--her puppy dog eyes got a ". Liam LOVES to build, so TinkerToys were perfect for him <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gCnPxLQ1D_o/SXSgqj4jS2I/AAAAAAAAAWo/jQ3kc0UyzgU/s1600-h/Liambuild.jpg"></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gCnPxLQ1D_o/SXSgqtCPy0I/AAAAAAAAAWg/er1Wbhi9pUo/s1600-h/LiamAlec.jpg"></a>His amazement when he opened "I can't believe I got the robot I always wanted" was something we will never forget. (Especially since I had gently tried to encourage him not to get his hopes up because of the amount of $$ it cost--Grandma and Poppie walked into a DEAL that was truly heaven sent!) <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gCnPxLQ1D_o/SXSgqcApu2I/AAAAAAAAAWY/_V4MLOMsPmk/s1600-h/Letter2santa.jpg"></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gCnPxLQ1D_o/SXSggfLQi6I/AAAAAAAAAWQ/CQQrIOxQeVw/s1600-h/ElliHannah.jpg"></a>Hooray for kindergarten and writing skills--writing a letter to Santa listing which cookie each child had hand-picked for him. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gCnPxLQ1D_o/SXSggAgYc_I/AAAAAAAAAWI/Ypgw9AUaB2k/s1600-h/DJ.jpg"></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gCnPxLQ1D_o/SXSgq8EQ-3I/AAAAAAAAAWw/F_PhiBqwPkQ/s1600-h/birthday.jpg"></a> Elli opens her Hannah Montanna Kaeraoke machine. We had to take this picture about 5 times--either one of us blinked, had "fat face" or our smile looked silly. This was the best of the worst. The boys building and Addi opening her new pal Elmo! Grandma Scott's birthday (Christmas Eve)

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Elli opens her Hannah Montanna Kaeraoke machine.

We had to take this picture about 5 times--either one of us blinked, had "fat face" or our smile looked silly. This was the best of the worst.

The boys building and Addi opening her new pal Elmo!

Grandma Scott's birthday (Christmas Eve)

Ace

2009-01-15T19:28:00.001-08:00

I can't say much about this photo except that I was so proud of myself for coming up with this clever little cake for a little boy who was a true surprise to his new family that loves him very, very much. (And that I was very bummed that the lettering oozed because I had done such a good job of replicating the font, oh well!)

And that adoption is awesome.

And that mommies who adopt deserve meals too... (hint, hint everyone when my time rolls around...)

Adoption update: a call to prayer

2009-01-15T05:20:00.000-08:00

Dan wrote this blog post last night after I attended an emergency meeting at our adoption agency. I thought I'd share our latest adoption challenge with you so you can be supporting us in prayer.

8:35PM Dan: Did you make it?
8:38PM Jenna: Just in time
8:45PM Jenna: This
is not good.
8:55PM Dan: Yikes! Money?
8:56PM Jenna: Yup 2 to 3 grand
extra fees
8:57PM Dan: Wow
8:57PM Jenna: Yeah
9:18PM Jenna: 1000 due
Feb 1
9:19PM Dan: 4 what? At least we have it
9:21PM Jenna: Just because
they need money. Extra 250 to 500 quarterly
9:22PM Jenna: We are their
bailout.
9:24PM Dan: That’s what I was just about to write.

Over the course of an hour tonight, Jenna let me in on what was happening at the waiting families’ meeting at our adoption agency tonight. As you have read, it wasn’t exactly the news we wanted to hear at this point in our adoption journey.

I’m not sure that I ever thought of the economy affecting something like adoption. Yet it does. In the past several months, adoption agencies all over the country have had to close their doors even with waiting families in the wings. Internationally wait times are longer. There are plenty of children that need a home, but there are also governments that are greedy and corrupt.

In adoption, a lot of the costs are handled up front: application fees, home studies, payments for dossiers, etc. But once you start waiting, you don’t pay anything more until you accept a referral. At this point, you pay the rest.

When families are waiting for two and three years, at some point they reach a milestone at which they pay nothing for a long time, which under normal circumstances isn’t usually an issue because usually agencies are cyclical, a family is finished as a family is waiting as another is coming into the system. However, in our economy, people need to eat and pay for shelter, clothing, much less make major financial commitments like international adoption. I think you see where I’m going with this. Adoption agencies aren’t making any money because people aren’t adopting and those that are have paid everything they will pay for a long time.

The cycle is broken.

Agencies can’t afford to stay open while families wait.
Agencies (perhaps more than people who make stupid billion dollar business decisions) need a bailout.

And now the question becomes, “What do we do?”

The answer is obvious. We continue the journey.

Just because the adoption will cost more, doesn’t mean that God has taken away the calling. Everything up to this point has been so easy, and this will not be hard. This is where real trust comes into play… and prayer. The more we wait, the more we pay. So YOU can help and pray that we move up in line as quickly as possible. Pray that we will receive our referral in the next two months. We know it could happen, and it would save us a decent amount of cash.

It’s crazy. I don’t know his name. I don’t know what he looks like. But he already has a place in my heart and a stocking for the mantle. We’re so close that I can see him sitting on the couch in front of me as I write this. And yeah, he’s not going away. He’s coming home. I don’t care what it takes; I’m bringing him home.

Why we don't

2009-01-13T11:14:00.000-08:00

Why don't I write a book? I'm not really sure. I think because I think there are so many other people with much more training in writing, experience in writing, raw talent, and discipline than me out there. People who actually have something to say. A platform, an interesting story, an imaginary world that begs to be discovered.

Dan writes in his journal every single night. And blogs almost daily. When he blogs it comes out seemingly effortless. Effusive--as if it just bubbled out and landed on the keyboard packaged and ready to go. Beautifully.

I'm so busy voraciously reading, selfishly gobbling up other people's words that I don't want to use my reading time or energy to sweat out a draft. I'm choosing to call it "research" for now.

Plus I'm not sure what I'd write about. There's no way I could do fiction. I'm creativly impaired. I would probably decide that my main character would be a female then be stuck for months on giving her a name. So then I'd change my main character to being a male and the same dilemma would happen. Or I'd sit and wonder if I could write from a male's perspective not being one myself.

Once I decided and started to write the first line, I'd get totally distracted thinking about a title. And what I'd want the cover to look like. Do I want a photograph? Illustration or painting? What colors would I want. And most importantly, which font would I choose? Where would I pose for my author head-shot for the back flap? What would I wear and how would I do my hair? Would I smile or try to look artistic and focused?

See, there's just no chance of me getting anything written on this poor book.

Happy Birthday to Dan

2009-01-10T13:42:00.000-08:00

man

it looks

GOOD

on you

(Hope I look this good when I'm your age...)

I've loved you since even before I met you. Heidi Jo made you sound way too good to be true, but you're all that and more. Keep it comin', cause I'm lovin' what you're givin'.

And for grins, here's a photo of the "Super Dan" cake my kids and I made for the birthday boy.

Book Review: Rex: A mother, Her Autistic child, and the music that transformed their lives

2009-01-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

BOOK REVIEW

Rex: A Mother, Her Autistic Child, and the Music that Transformed Their Lives
By Cathleen Lewis

I ordered this book from Thomas Nelson to review knowing it might not be the easiest book to read, but I am always up for a challenge and wanted to learn more about the world of autism.

I was transfixed by Rex's story. Narrated by his plucky mother, Cathleen, she shares the blow-by-blow details of Rex's life from a week before his birth up to the time of printing. I appreciated her understandable mix of scientific and medical terminology while relating everything into comprehendable language so that anyone would feel comfortable reading this book.

Most poingnant to me were Rex's experiences in education. How little "the system" works for children with disabilities, and how much parental interaction and collaboration is necessary to actually carry out individualized and specialized education. I adored Cathleen's ferocity when it came to Rex's care and education. Not allowing him to be isolated or exploited because of his extraordinary talents or limiting abilities.

If you know someone with a child who is blind, autistic, disabled or simply different in even the slightest way, this book would be a tremendous resource to share with a parent. Rather than simply listing all the negatives and struggles (which, believe me, she shares them all very frankly) there is a beautiful balance of positivity and the grace Rex and his mom have fallen heir to despite the challenging cards they have been dealt.

I could barely put this book down. It touched me very deeply and gave me an education without the experience. Personally, I was thrilled to read that when at the very bottom, Cathleen found peace in a church building, and a friend and ally in God.

Christmas fun: Part 1

2009-01-04T17:32:00.000-08:00

Girls in the truck

Elli posing with HSM 3 clothing

Liam at his class party

Kids by the Scott's Christmas tree

Dan putting up our Charlie Brown tree

Liam in the Mighty Loader

Elli in here element--ON STAGE!

Addi (also known as A-Lo--'cause she got some junk...)

Friday night on the town

2009-01-03T17:50:00.000-08:00

Dan and I totally enjoyed a co-worker's swanky wedding downtown at the Amway Grand on Friday night. I won't recount the play-by-play of the ceremony because Dan did such a good job of it on his blog. I must admit that I did a (very unladylike) arm pump when I saw a woman conducting the ceremony. A local authoress, whose book I thoroughly enjoyed. But that's not what this post it about.

Dan didn't go into details on the food, so I'll do that since I'm either a food nerd or food-addicted.

As we walked up to the Hors d'Oeuvres table, (in my head) I was singing, "chese, glorious cheese!". There was a rather insipid cracker selection, but the plethora of scrumptious cheeses made up for it. I'm not talking cubed cheddar and swiss here, people. Creamy goat cheese rolled in a dried cranberry compote, dilled soft havarti, smoked gouda, green-flecked gorgonzola, and OK, there was some jalapeno jack and yellow cheddar cubed for the beginners. But overall the cheese platter was impressive and sumptuous.

Next in line were Swedish Meatballs. These were a very nice surprise. Usually brown and boring, there was something fresh in the meat mixture (parsley?) coupled with a tangy mustardy-sauce that really made these little guys POP. Hence, many of them were popping into my mouth throughout the night.

The third chafing dish held cod fritters that you could top with a chunky cocktail sauce. These were deep-fried goodness.

Easily recognizeable and surprisingly delectable were the quesadillas. I think the carmelized onions inside gave them a sweet, mellow flavor that made them a little more "dressed up" than one would normally imagine a quesadilla. (Stop read-nunciating it "case-uh-dill-uh" like in Napoleon Dynamite, gosh!)

Lastly were the mini-quiches. Which harbored a nice little surprise in the form of a kalamata olive in the middle.

The wedding cake was fluffy, the fillings were smooth, and the icing was seriously butter. But Dan and I both agreed that we've never had a wedding cake as good as ours was. And we're not just sayin' that. The east coast just killz when it comes to baked goods.

There were lots of smiles at the wedding, and two of them were definitely ours. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and each other sampling the food and beverages the evening provided (and got a good laugh when I realized I was drinking my white and still had a wad of gum tucked behind my molar--of course a spontaneous "Sideways" reference quickly ensued--"are you chewing gum?") dressed in new clothes that might be described as urban chic rather than the highschool/college formals/leftovers we usually don for such occasions, surrounded by good and good-looking people, and still only having eyes for each other.

groan

2008-12-15T19:04:00.000-08:00

Things are tough right now for a lot of people. That verse where the holy spirit has to intercede on our behalf because all we can do is groan, can't even put what we are feeling into words--that verse makes a lot of sense all of a sudden.

I send out our church e-mail version of a prayer chain. Requests come in via phone or internet and I put them into words and send them out to people who have committed to praying for the requests that come through.

Some I shrug off and write with factual apathy. Others hit me in the gut and make me moan out loud.

Today I got one from a manager whose company gave him the task of laying off almost 20 people. The week before Christmas. When I mentioned this to my husband, he said, B____ called it--he said it's going to get really ugly from now until Christmas with companies laying people off etc. Ugh.

One of Dan's former co-workers lost her dad and his funeral is this week. The week before Christmas.

People are losing jobs, family members, living spaces, credit ratings, relationships, respect and who knows what else left and right. It seems like every hour something else comes to our attention about someone or other who is struggling with something. The week before Christmas.

That's where hope comes in. And I'm thankful I have that. Although sometimes I shake my head perplexed, dismayed, frustrated, annoyed at unfortunate situations people have put themselves in or disheartened by bad situations thrust upon unsuspecting and undeserving people, I know there is hope for all of them.

I groan for what I do not know how to express.

contemplative

2008-12-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

I've caught myself staring off into space a lot lately. Since it never happens in front of a mirror, I have no idea what the expression on my face is when this happens. I can only hope it looks sage and wise, like I'm crafting zen verses, and not dull or perplexed as I fear the reality of this "look" might be.

I haven't been writing much often, and that leaves me feeling bloated and pent-up. Metaphorically that is. I'm afraid some of these starry-eyed spaced out moments often lead me to daydream about a room of my own. A place where I can leave the current and zap to where I need to go to mull things over, make sense of enigmatic dreams or thoughts that pop unbidden into my head. To hone my writing skills by practicing "shitty first drafts". Most of which only happen in my head and are lost with the phone shoulder-held to my ear listening to a voicemail while throwing together PBJ's and trying to negotiate a compromise between battling siblings. To pray for people or situations that are on my heart and mind, so they won't keep sitting there piling up subconscious weight of care that gives me shoulder-aches and audible sighs throughout my day. To sit down and write hand-written letters rather than the impersonal and probably-misconstrued e-mails that time constraints seduce me to instead.It's always sunny and quiet, and there's a squishy sink-into-me chair for reading and repose and a solid, sturdy table with ample surface area for work and creativity. Oh, and the sewing machine is there too so I can sew lace onto socks--because little girls must have lacy socks.

Counting down--and maybe into single digits?

2008-12-05T16:27:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy past few weeks here. With an impromptu trip to Oklahoma for my 2 1/2 year old and I, then a road trip to New Jersey for my Grandfather's funeral, and coming home to snow and a huge church event, we're barely surviving and craving a whole lot of sleep. (Not to mention so thankful we are in the waiting phase rather than the paperwork phase--we have all we can handle on our plates right now.)

As I'm reading through my e-mails and trying to count all the referrals that happened while we were gone, I'm estimating that we might have moved up 2-3 spots on the list. I'm waiting for the official "place in line" from our awesome Ethiopian adoption team at our agency.

I'll post the official number when we get the word, but I'm going to guess that we are about 8th in line now. If referrals keep up at this pace, we may know what our little guy looks like in 2008. We are content in God's timing, and thrilled to see the numbers falling off like the Wal-mart price roll-back commercials. Because that means there are kids with families...and families with kids. Soul-thrilling.

Grandpop

2008-11-29T13:07:00.000-08:00

Last night Grandpop Hoffman went home to be with the Lord. He was 91 years old. It's odd to feel at peace knowing he is finally gone, yet having such a deep sadness that it keeps creeping up on me wave after wave.

So many memories. From sitting on his lap squealing in agony as he cleaned out my fingernails when I was a little girl to getting the "green stuff" when my report card was good. Changing my nickname from Cinderella to Princess because I didn't think it was high-ranking enough. Always threatening to come sit behind me in school and look over my shoulder to copy my answers because I was smart--always telling me I was going to become Dr. Hoffman and he'd be there to see it. Only committing to something with a "Lord-willing", and reminding us to always stick close to the Lord.

I've yet to meet a more humbly money-conscious man with as big and generous of a heart as his. He has left an impression and legacy for many to aspire to. Truly everyone who met Grandpop Hoffman went away from his encounter with a hearty laugh, a good meal, a prayer, a $20 bill, and a blessing on his life.

I'm gonna miss my 15 second phone conversations before he would "hand me back to grandmom", our little inside jokes, and just knowing that he's there for a hug anytime I'm in NJ. I know I'll see him again. Where his new body can keep up with his quick wit.

But now it's time to say goodbye. To grieve hard with my family. To remember him well and share how he has forever changed all of our lives. To celebrate a true man of God, a veteran who loved our country, and my Grandpop.

Book Review: My Little Girl

2008-11-25T11:31:00.000-08:00

I ordered My Little Girl, by Tim McGraw and Tom Douglas, thinking "it's pink, so E will like it, but I know it's gonna be cheesy". I must admit, this skeptic was pleasantly surprised.

The pictures are captivating--colorful and likable. The storyline is down to earth and believable. Except for the really coutryish parts--I'm too citified to find excitement in dancing with chickens and riding in a pick-up truck.

I love the fact that this book made the mundane everyday tasks of the day "super spectacular special"--just because daddy and his little girl were together. It doesn't take a trip to Disney, a new Hannah Montana wardrobe, and an iphone to make a day special, it's just doing life TOGETHER that makes it so special.

I loved that at the end of the story there's a page where you are encouraged to spend some special daddy-daughter time and write your own story or memory.

I think I'd have to, begrudgingly almost, recommend this book!

Impromptu trip

2008-11-25T08:56:00.000-08:00

Addi and I flew to OK for a long weekend. Wish we could have flown in one of Devon's jets (like this one), but alas we had to board the commercial flights with the masses instead. We had a great time visiting dad's hangar, eating mom's fabulous cooking, cruising around in the BMW, visiting with Andrew, Carrie & Chase, shopping 'til our feet hurt, laughing 'til our sides hurt, and making pizza bread along with a lot of memories.

It's been a bittersweet trip. It's easy and hard to leave more than half of my little family behind. I thoroughly enjoyed a little break and talking on the phone to L & E from afar--hearing their take on life from the other side of the phone.

It's been exciting being with Carrie as she's about to give birth any minute to Ian Douglas. Teasing her about doing jumping jacks, watching her frown at everyone who asks her when she's due, and listening to Andrew ask her if she's in labor yet and taking her for "walks" to try to get things moving.

At the same time my Dad had to grab a flight to New Jersey, where Grandpop Hoffman is in the ICU battling pneumonia post-op from hip replacement surgery after a fall last week.

So, we've got our cell phones glued to our hands waiting for phone calls. Each probably announcing the opposite of the other. And knowing that both are inevitable. For all of us.

as many as a cat's lives

2008-11-20T05:12:00.000-08:00

This was us nine years ago. We still love eating cake together and still love to kiss (mmm...minty!). We still think each other are quite good looking and wish we could spend more time together. We've been through hell and high waters together, helping each other through some excruciatingly challenging situations. Testing the vows we took 9 years ago and finding that our words were simply indicators of the deep commitment we have to our relationship with each other.

There have been anniversaries where we've celebrated that the year is "over" and had to admit that we're relieved that we get to start a new one--hoping that it will be better than the year before. ("We get a do-over!" -Liz Lemon) And there have been years where we've celebrated because it's been a good year. This is one of the latter. God has been good to us. Making Dan for me, giving us a story and a history that enmeshes and intertwines in beautiful contrasts and complements.

So excited about keeping on this journey called life with you. We have some exciting stops coming up along the way and I couldn't ask for a better travel partner, my true companion.

(I had to borrow this from Jamin's recital acknowledgment to Angie, but it just seems to fit how I feel right now.)

Dan, I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.

Third one's a charm-er

2008-11-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

Oh Addison Mabel. Here you are lining up your
underwear so you can count them carefully a few times,
then sort through and say, "maybe dis one?...No. Maybe dis one? No."on each and every pair before choosing (with a little help and lot of hurry from mommy or daddy) which pair to wear. Of course, we're trying to rush to get out the door, but you have your own little agenda, don't you?

Today at the mall, we just about died as you gave us all of 7 seconds warning, "I nee go potty...need to go pee-pee" before straddling your legs as far apart as you could and letting it fly like a fire hose onto the carpeted floor in aisle 4 of the Shoe Dept store. We just about died.

Since you no longer wear diapers, I no longer carry diapering paraphernalia on my person. Daddy was a man and told one of the associates there had been an "accident"...and when pressed admitted that it was actually a "pee" accident.

I just have to say, you're so darn cute. It's what makes situations like this one bearable and actually quite funny. And now, since I can hear you playing in your bed rather than napping, I will end this post here and go remind you that even though you are cute and adorable and that it is fun for me to listen to your little cartoon voice make all your friends and animals talk and sing (and even sometimes pray) you are still little and you still have to take a nap.

Book Review: In the Shadow of the Sun King

2008-11-16T19:22:00.000-08:00

I received the book, In the Shadow of the Sun King by Golden Keyes Parsons, from Thomas Nelson free of charge as long as I agreed to review it. If you are interested in becoming a book review blogger as well, click here.

I ordered this work of historical fiction with a bit of trepidation. I don't usually read these types of books, but this summer I enjoyed reading a work of fiction about Marie Antoinette, so thought I'd give this book a chance.

When I received the book and saw that it was more than 350 pages, I was a bit worried that I might not finish it or might get bored with it. I started reading it and was initially put off by the sickly sweet description of the stereotypical French provincial setting. But I always give myself 5 pages before deciding not to finish a book. About an hour later, I realized I had lost all track of time and was a good 75 pages into the book, and definitely into the storyline.

At times I did a bit of skimming over some of the more spiritualized parts of the book. Although I applaud the author's ability to take an actual family history, combine it with historical fact and add a great dash of creativity in developing a story, I still found myself tripping over the religious "moments" portrayed by various characters throughout the book.

Though long in pages, the storyline keeps moving very quickly with some unexpected as well as some totally predictable twists and turns in the character's interactions.

I can definitely recommend the book without reservations to fans of Christian romantic historical fiction books. As the first in this series I would not hesitate to continue reading the chronicles as the author continues the saga of Madeline and Francois Clavell.

I can think of a few people I know who would probably enjoy this book, so I will pass it along to any of you who would like to read it next--just let me know.

CPS certification contemplation

2008-11-12T17:39:00.001-08:00

The other night, Dan made an interesting comment. He said something to the effect (or is it affect? I can't remember) of, "if we had a nanny, we could make this work", in regard to us both being gone 9 hours a day every day this week.

I agreed, but then pointed out that neither of our "salaries" would be enough to compensate a nanny for our 3 (and in '09 our 4) children. More importantly, I realized that with the intense schedule this week has afforded, I've had about 2 hours a day with my family. And about 1 and a half of those hours have been eaten up by meal and bedtime routines. That leaves about a half hour of actual interaction time to split between a husband and 3 children. That is NO WAY to build relationships, trust, have any fun, or really do anything for that matter. It's just no way to live.

So, although I have thoroughly enjoyed everything in the list heretofore following, I'm looking forward to getting back to the really blessed life I have. Of getting to choose to be home all the time. Of getting to spend immense and intense amounts of time with my family during these formative years of our kids' lives.

Things I have enjoyed about this week:
Showering daily
Wearing a "new" outfit each day
Wearing earrings
Breakfast provided for me
Coffee made for me
Going to the bathroom by myself any time and as many times as I want to
Eating junk food and not having to hide it or share it
Having lunch
Having lunch made for me
Eating a meal that is still warm from start to finish
Learning new things
Listening, reading, taking notes
Taking quizzes and tests
Role playing
Teaching, educating, explaining
Talking to adults
Meeting new people
Being affirmed
Having people take an interest in me and get to know me
Driving in a car by myself
Letting my husband get to experience a day with the kids
Coming home to "mommy! mommy! mommy!" every day
Being greeted in the garage before I can even get out of the car
Little hugs and clamoring for my attention and affection and listening to 3 stories all at once
Listening to a day from my husband's point of view and in his riveting style of narrative
Planning a day out ahead of time so that it goes smoothly
Dropping into bed exhausted
Being able to handle this whole experience
Getting certified
Realizing how far I've come from those low, low PPD days
Waking up to an alarm clock
Needing to be somewhere
Brushing my teeth in the morning
Cracking jokes
Getting into "the community"
Doing something worthwhile
Doing something new and different
Rubbing shoulders with different people
Not being on the computer so much

Now playing: Ellison Jennaye turns 4

2008-11-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

Since we're headed to family camp this weekend (Dan is the speaker) Elli's birthday has to be "on the road". Tradition is to decorate a cake in the theme of the child's choosing. Elli has had a hard time making up her mind this year--she's waffled between Holly Hobbie, Strawberry Shortcake, Hannah Montanna, and a truck (?). At the 11th hour (well, more like 8pm so it'd be done by the time the Office came on last night) I decided that a 9x13 cake would be easiest to transport on the 2 1/2 hour drive to camp.

I pureed a can of tart bing cherries and mixed it with a box of classic white cake mix. It smelled amazing while baking and is a blissful shade of pink--Elli's most favoritest color. This morning we mixed up some buttercream icing with a splash of almond flavoring to complement the cherry cake. I cannot wait to eat this cake!

I had Dan show me his ipod as well as find a good image of a pink ipod for me to use as the model for Elli's cake. For any of you who know Elli, music is second only to all things pink and princess in her life. When she is upset or afraid, she responds best to singing to help her calm down. She memorizes and sings songs she hears rather quickly and it will be intersting to see if she has the Scott-side-of-the-family propensity towards all things musical. She falls asleep every night listening to music, and has very decided opinions about what we listen to in the car.

When I proposed the idea of a pink ipod to her, she (dramatically) squealed in delight, hands fluttering to her face, and gushed about how that is EXACTLY the cake she has ALWAYS wanted.

She helped ice and decorate the cake. (Which is extremely hard for me because I always want to "do it myself"--but I'm learning that the cakes are more important to the kids when they contribute and help make them than if they look picture-perfect but have been ignored in the process). So here it is--in all it's "metallic" pink glory. (notice album cover of birthday balloons, play list, length of time music has been playing, and scroll wheel)

I know I'm kinda silly this way, but I "plugged" in the headphones and made her "listen" to her ipod cake for a photo.

This was a super fun (and easy) cake to make. And although it will be a little unconventional celebrating her birthday at family camp, I know it will be a lot of fun and make some great memories for Elli J.J.

the day-after thoughts

2008-11-05T07:03:00.001-08:00

First of all, let me admit I have watched not a single political debate, commentary, commercial, NOTHING this year. On purpose.

So last night as I watched John McCain's speech (the first time I'd ever seen him speak) I said to Dan, "aww. I'm really sad I won't get to listen to more speeches from him." I was proud of my grandfather who did overseas tours in the army and my dad who was a helicopter pilot in the Navy. My family has given to this country, so I can identify with JM's sacrifice and feel that swell of pride in our country.

I wasn't nearly as impressed with Obama's speech (again, the first time I've seen him speak), but it's not about who is a better speaker. Not to me, at least. He does have great teeth. Maybe we'll all get dental benefits now?

Today while I was sweeping the kitchen floor, I was wondering what my parents were thinking about the election results. Probably not too pleased. I can tell from Facebook statuses and Twitter comments that there is a lot of fear and disappointment out there.

Although who I voted for didn't win, I know this decision was out of my hands. God knows what He's doing. I have to keep telling myself that because I find myself slipping into moments of not "feeling" that way. I guess there must be a lot of healing that needs to take place in our nation and in many individual's hearts. And I know that since I am so guilty of being embarassingly ignorant of history in general and black history specifically, I'll at least have some frame of reference for my new little guy. To be able to say, "hey, you're not the only one who is adopted. You're not the only boy with dark skin whose parents have light skin.You're not alone. Look at our president."

And that gives me hope.

There were some more close-to-home results last night that really affected us. Positively, we are thrilled that a township millage passed allowing a natural area or park on a huge parcel of land at the top of our street rather than the development with 110 cookie-cutter homes that a developer proposed, which caused our neighborhoods to band together and fight for many, many months. This is a HUGE victory and relief for us.

On a sadder note, I'm worried about the passage of the "legalizing the medicinal use of marijuana in Michigan" that happened last night. I started having visions of being in a car accident because of a stoned high schooler who had a "prescription" for his pot and losing one or all of my children, myself or Dan. But I can't let anxieties like that drive me and give way to fears and anxieties. I have to think of the cancer patients whose pain can be alleviated when this admission is enacted and administered as it was meant to be.

I was also heartbroken by the passage of our proposal 2 that allows for the expansion of stem-cell research. Again, pretty ignorant, but not feeling like it's a very good thing. But, again, I have to give it to God and trust in His goodness, not thrust the foundations of all my trust, warm fuzzy feelings, or fears for the future on mere, mortal man (and woman for all the PC'ers out there).

It's a new dawn, it's a new day. Let's start there and go with it.

My punkin

2008-10-29T06:26:00.001-07:00

I was intrigued by the white pumpkins at the pumpkin patch this year. I thought I needed to either carve a snowflake (too soon?) or something else appropriately white into the pumpkin.

Most of the ghost templates were not quite to my liking. I found a very witty T-shirt design that featured Pacman as the "pumpkin" chasing a white "ghost". So I cropped and blew up the design, printed it out and carved.

We had to use some wire to suspend the ghost within the outline. If we were mechanical geniuses with unlimited access to Radio Shack materials, we could have automated it to make the ghost spin. But, we don't have the unlimited access to Radio Shack anymore...

The only bummer is that since candle flame burns orange, it makes my white pumpkin & ghost appear orange rather than white. I'll have to see if I can get one of them new-fangledy batt'ry powered pumpkin lights to keep the integrity of my project for Halloween night.

pink bubbles

2008-10-28T10:29:00.001-07:00

Remember that show, "Dharma & Greg"? He's a straight-laced lawyer and she's a laissez faire hippie yoga instructor--and their marriage is a comedy of errors.

Other than some cheap entertainment, I took away the "put it all in a bubble and blow it all away" concept that Dharma uses.

I have a very, very full bubble today. I'm on the verge of bursting. Into wracking sobs, a screaming fit, or an emotionally catatonic state.

But none of those are very healthy options. For myself, or my 3 kids). So, I have no other option but to stand with my feet shoulder-width apart, raise my hands high above my head, swoop them out and make a ginormous circle for each "thing" that is causing me angst today. And once I've emptied my mind and filled my bubble, I will just blow them all away...up to heaven.

Rejoicing with those who rejoice

2008-10-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

These past 2 weeks our agency gave out somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 referrals. That means there are 8 children who now have forever families. And there are families entering the most intense and anxious phase of their adoptions. They have to wait to pass court in Ethiopia. Which is completely and totally out of their hands. Once their child passes court and is officially "theirs", they can post pictures and names of their children on their websites. And they can start to make travel plans to go pick them up.

We are still nose-pressed-to-the-glass watching the mail for just 2 documents we need to finalize our dossier. Once we're on "the list" of families waiting to be introduced to our children, we'll breathe a lot easier.

Stylin' #2

2008-10-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

Seriously, gotta love the knee socks here. This is my "Sunday best".

Bangs

2008-10-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

My childhood Sunday school teacher posted some old pictures of us on Facebook. I just laughed and laughed at my bangs! This photo was taken at a Sunday school Christmas party at my teacher's home. She and her mom and sister are all very musical, so they sat down with instruments and gave us each a turn at conducting.
My sweatshirt is seriously stylin' as well.

Guess I'm about as fashionable now as I was then. Oh well. At least I'm fun, right?

Pumpkining

2008-10-21T18:02:00.000-07:00

We had set aside tonight to foray out into the cold and carve pumpkins at a Starbucks "Carving & Coffee" event, but the S'bux employee who was supposed to be the event planner failed to execute said planned event. So, we had to come up with a plan to make this much-looked-forward evening turn out just as fun and exciting as getting to make a mess all over Starbucks' floor and drink coffee and eat pastries.

Since we had a busy morning playing with friends, dinner had to be a throw-together. I quickly browned some ground beef, added onion soup mix and water, and thickened it up. I mashed some yukon gold potatoes with butter, half 'n half and sour cream, and Liam chose brown sugar carrots for our veggie.

This was the first time I had ever served "ground beef and gravy" to the kids, I had no idea how it would go over. Let's just say we have a new recipe to add to our repertoire. We ate every last bite. This was one of my favorite meals growing up. Eating it was a trip down memory lane for me.

With a hot, hearty meal under our belts, we headed off to Mejier to buy some pumpkin carving tools to carve the patterns we had found and printed off the internet for each pumpkin. Hooray for some $ left on a Meijer gift card! We were even able to splurge on a donut for each of us AND some of those totally addicting candy pumpkins.

We raced home and started slashing our pumpkins like sugar-crazed maniacs. The kids were each allowed to pick out a candy pumpkin for each year of their age plus "one to grow on". We put on a Halloween CD we got from the library to set the mood. Dan mulled cider with a cinnamon stick to help the donuts go down. Then after one or two pokes and the kids getting "tired" of carving, Dan and I carved 'til our hands were numb while trying to keep the kids occupied, from sawing off appendages with the miniscule carving paraphenalia, and watching the clock to see if we could get these crazy things carved so we could light them up, snap a picture or two, then get the sugar-crashing and very tired kids into bed.

Liam insisted that the deer were going to eat their pumpkins if we left them out on the front porch overnight. The garage wasn't "safe" either (apparently). Dan did some fast-talking and convinced him that leaving the pumpkins on the picnic table of the back deck was perfectly safe. To which Elli promptly replied that the deer could just jump over the fence then walk up and eat them...we did a little "Debbie Downer" music and employed the "distraction" tactic as we herded everyone to their rooms to pick out PJ's and books.

What could have been a disaster due to disappointed plans turned into a fun evening indeed. One I will remember for many years to come. I love my little pumpkin carvers.

(Cinderella for Elli, Transformer for Liam, Mickey Mouse for Addi)
--have we been marketed or what?--

And the dish ran away with the spoon

2008-10-21T11:59:00.001-07:00

"Leap of Faith...Leap of Faith"...
the little ditty from the musical "Rent" keeps running through my head any time I start to have a mis-giving about this adoption. About sending money out in a time when our economy seems to be going south.

This isn't our first leap. I think our first leap as a couple was moving to Michigan so Dan could attend seminary. Giving up secure jobs where we'd been offered 10% raises, an awesome first-floor-of-a-huge-Victorian-home apartment and close proximity to our families.

God has been so much the author of our story. We've had a few chapters that we tried to write ourselves, and thankfully God allows us the option of deleting or re-writing them. Like the chapter on the red mini van. That one was a mistake, but we're glad we can just hit the 'delete' button and keep on writing the next chapter.

There are chapters we don't really go back and read over and over again, but they are still part of our story.

There are some waiting to be finished. As I was reading "Bird by Bird" last night, I was reminded that writers are less thrilled with the final work than they are the process of writing. That helps me remember to enjoy the 'process' all the more and not shut down 'til I can skip to the last page and find out how everything turns out. 'cause I've never been that person. I refuse to skip ahead in books and in life. Word by word, page by page, I revel in the story as it unfolds.

(signed) SEALED (delivered)

2008-10-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

Our first gold seal arrived today. This is my birth certificate.
Officially sealed by the commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

Just waiting for Dan's birth certificate
and our marriage license to come back sealed
before we can send all our paperwork off to Ethiopia.

compression confession

2008-10-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

I love cold months because I can start wearing my PANTYHOSE again!

I know it's weird. But when you grew up longing for the day you were given the go-ahead to buy a "Flicker" rotating blade shaver and given permission to shave from your ankle to your knee--the place where your "knee-highs" covered--then it becomes some shade of normal. Or at least as normal as "Suntan" colored hose look on every person that wears them.

When you're me and you wore compression stockings after your second and third pregnancies to help with the bulging varicose veins and throbbing legs that pained you day and night and discovered that even though you have to use a cocktail of baby powder, shoe horns, and super-heroine hand-strength to get them on, that they suck in skin and muscle and make lumps into curves and actually help keep you warm, you roll on the floor to tug those tight-knit screen-door like hose around the turn-on-a-dime curve of your ankle because it will be worth it all.

SO, when autumn rolls around and I'm pushing the cusp of boot-wearing season I dust off the handle to the drawer that holds the 3 pairs of compression hose I had to get a prescription from my doctor for, order online and paid an arm and two veiny-legs for. Because not only will I be able to gently glide into the pants that don't *really* fit, but I won't have to bend over, twist or do the little wigga-wigga-wiggle dance to pull up said pants before muscling the button and challenging the zipper to close. And there is no way on earth these babies will ever get a snag, runner, or rip in them. They are virtually inpenetrable. I think they might even be bulletproof.

apolitical

2008-10-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was probably the most pop-political day of 2008 for me. I try to stay out of political conversations for the most part because I believe politics is local. So if you're gonna talk big, I want to know that you're attending and doing your part in local government before I'll listen to your top-down views of things.

Ennyhoo. I got a phone call from our preschool warning that because the President was in town and the motorcade would be driving the street the preschool is on, we might experience some traffic or other delays.

I was the 4th car behind the policeman who stopped traffic at the turnoff before the preschool. As I sat and tried to explain to Elli and Addi who the president was, what he does, why he needs so much fanfare and security etc., I saw people pulling out their camera phones or parking their cars to get out and watch the motorcade drive by. And I got into the moment a little more.

Had I known I'd actually be in the vicinity of the motorcade, twice, I would like to think I would have made a sign. I think it would have said, "I'm gonna miss you". Because I am.

Despite what has or hasn't happened during this presidency, I've been at peace. Knowing that a man who knows God personally is in charge of our country has been all I needed to know about him to trust he and his wife to represent us and make decisions for us. They've been kind of like a mom and dad. I don't always understand their decisions, or agree with them, but I trust them enough to hope they know what they are doing and see how things play out. And even if we disagree on something, I still stay on their team and keep things cordial with them.

I was thinking about all of this while I was mowing the lawn later that afternoon. "What if George Bush drove up our street, and saw me mowing our lawn and stopped to ask me some questions?", I thought. "What questions would he ask me? Would it be things like 'who are you going to vote for in the next election?' or 'how is your family doing in this time of economic stress?'." (Sorry, I forget how punctuation works with questions inside of thoughts inside of hypothetical conversations)

My answers would be:
1. I haven't done my homework yet. (I'm envisioning an hour or two on my own at the library to look up each candidate's bio, information, platforms, and maybe watch a bit of each debate before making a totally media-free decision--one plus of not having cable and rarely watching TV. I haven't seen a single commentary or commercial because I refuse to watch them) And I haven't really prayed about who to vote for yet.
2. We are rich. For some reason our family of 5, living on one income has enough, and even extra. So much that we are able to expand our family one more time as well as help others to get through these tough times.

I kinda got stuck there. Thinking back to our first house and how we lived the life of excess and how quarrelly and stressed out it made us sometimes. How we've lived with debt and how imprisoning and weighty it is.And how God--just in the nick of time--prompted us to re-vamp our way of living and attack that debt with a ferocity that abolished it in half the time we thought we could do it and has allowed us to live the most freeing and generous life since. How that insane period of paying everything off prepared us to step into an economy riddled with dourness and uncertainty and not be burdened with worry about finances. How living simply allows us to simply live.

Why a God who felt so distant during depression and months of silence on our end would still bestow His grace in our lives. Like a parent tucking a note in a lunchbox, or a 5 dollar bill in your cupholder.

As I go through a Bible study re-affirming the foundations of my faith, it is so eye-opening to revisit anew a relationship that has morphed so many times I wonder if it will ever lose its elasticity and turn into a gooey blob. The first night when an older lady said, "I'm falling in love with Jesus all over again", my eyebrows instinctively furrowed. My knee-jerk cynic chalked it up to one of those, "touchy-feely" people syndromes.

But I'm starting to "feel" that too. And I am NOT a toucher. Those of you who know me know that is true.

So when I attack my husband with two hugs within a span of an hour in our kitchen, it's because I'm falling in love again. With more than Jesus. I'm mending relationships and re-kindling friendships that have fallen along the wayside as my path tunnel-visioned for a while there.

And so, for me, one of the more important aspects of who I vote for will be someone who I feel seeks the heart of Jesus. Can I ever get close enough to either of the candidates to seriously ask them about their relationship with Him? No. Have they been asked about religion? Yes. Can I trust God to give me wisdom to know who to cast my vote for? Yes. Does God care? Yup, He does. And I do too.

And I'm thankful that whatever happened years ago with hanging chads and electoral votes and re-counts and breaking news to see who actually won the election happened. Because these past 4 years have been hard enough on our family in lots of ways, but at least we've been pretty unscathed by decisions that have been made on our behalf politically.

We've paid our taxes and we've benefited from government programs, so I will certainly be exercising my civic duty to vote. I just don't know for whom that vote will be...yet.

2008-10-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

if i had a maid, i would make the maid spread the jelly

Moments of insanity

2008-10-14T05:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I miss my "depression". There. I said it.

As I shared my prayer request at Bible study last night, I heard words being spoken by my own mouth so foreign-sounding to my own ears. I have been feeling like I have the flu for the past few days. Physically ill. Limited. Restricted. Painful. Off-kilter. Not right. Not myself. I shared that this is exactly how I felt mentally when I was in my post-baby PPD stage of life. And the physical illness was mimicking the mental illness I found so frustrating and crippling.

It's one of those, "miss it like a cavity" kind of phantom pains. I think I needed to "feel" it once more to remember to revel in how wonderful health feels now.

At the same time, I miss the creativity my brain was able to tap into while it was misfiring, short circuiting and traveling routes it was not deigned to traverse. For some reason during that time, words flowed like molten chocolate. Thick. Smooth. Gentle. Gooey. Sticky and sweet.

Now I feel like when I write, it's back to the old me. Technical. Bullet points. Factual. Lists.

I miss the exotic tangents my mind wandered on. The vocab words my muddled mind was recalling. The explicit ways I was able to describe abstract thoughts and feelings. My fingers not typing fast enough to keep up with my speed of light thoughts.

Now I stop and pause to think of a word. I know it's in there, but I can't think of just the right one. I try to describe an experience or emotion and I come up sounding like a nervous sixth grader trying to ask a parent for permission to go bowling in mixed company. I'm distracted by my focus.

I look at the beautiful fall palette and am moved by the panoramic melange of colors and all I can think is "awesome".

It's given me a new insight into the struggle many genius artists have struggled with--like in the song "Starry, Starry Night" about Van Gogh. Balancing sanity with genius to create. The writer that sits in front of the typewriter not able to tap a key because you can't turn "it" on and off like the water taps at the sink. The musician that pounds his fists on his instrument in pure frustration that he can hear the melody but can't translate it into notes. And on a much, much lower level than them, I ache in frustration with them at the paralysis.

I don't miss viewing my world in shades of grey. I don't miss looking at photographs and not remembering the context or the experience, or the foggy look in my eyes. I don't miss the paranoia, the robotic gestures of living day to day. But I do miss that one side-effect. Sometimes.

Milestones

2008-10-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

Since Liam is in K-garten and Elli thinks she is too, they have been "reading" everything with words. There is a "Milestones" bus that drops off one of Liam's school friends, and the kids asked what that word meant.

I tried to explain that when you achieve something, maybe you mark it in a way you can remember it. Like as you grow taller, you make a mark to chart your growth.

We've been milestoning left and right these days. Here are just a few:

Addi potty trained
Liam riding a 2 wheeler
Elli starting to ride a bike w/ training wheels
Liam learning to read & write letters & numbers
Elli reading speed limit signs (and making sure I am 'obeying the law' as we drive)
Reaching the 'second trimester' part of our adoption
Graduating from PPD support groups to actual Bible study and MOPS groups

Too much

2008-10-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

I just have way too much swirling around in my head right now. And all of it is GOOD!

From 3 bags of clothes for Liam from his former preschool teacher to 2,300 Tilapia harvested from Mully's fish pots to having a letter from the US Government saying that we are deemed worthy of adopting an orphan to healthy children and a belly full of awesome potluck food.

This has been a week heaped with blessings. So many that I feel like I just cannot absorb them all. I don't know where to put all the thoughts in my head and don't have enough time to bask in them or share about them all.

I just know that right now we are "standing under the spout where the blessings pour out." And it is good.

Thank you Lord

2008-10-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

In our current economy (aka gloom and doom), we seem to be immune. Yes, paying over $4 per gallon of gas is painful, but not impossible for us. We don't have to get another source of income to make ends meet, cut back in any areas, and somehow we're still tithing with a little extra to be generous when needs present themselves, tucking away a little bit each month for college funds, investments, paying a preschool tuition and saving enough money to pay cash for an adoption that is costing us a little more than 1/2 of our annual income.

I was pondering this paradox as I snipped the tag off of Liam's brand-new winter coat. His second new coat ever--the first one we've ever bought for him. The price tag said "Columbia" and "$83". We paid less than 1/4 of that price for it. It is warm. It will last him 1, if not 2, winters, then go down the line of kids for many winters to come. It is well-made and nice-looking. It is warm without being cumbersome. I just sat an marveled at it.

Not the coat itself. Not the money we have. God's provision. It floors me. It makes me close my eyes and breathe thanks on behalf of my children who don't know how good they have it. It envelops me like my son's warm, well-made jacket. It fills me like a crisp, juicy apple picked straight off the tree. It's sweet juices run down my chin and razzle-dazzle my senses and nearly blow my mind, which just cannot wrap itself around this un-earned and un-deserved overabundance.

"And my soul wells up in Halleljuah..."

How I do like them apples

2008-09-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

My kids and I made some good old fashioned applesauce the new-fangled way today. We borrowed a neighbor's apple peeler/corer/slicer and I cooked the "slinky apples" as my kids were calling them in my electric roaster oven. I never even had to use the potato masher, they just kind of melted into applesauce on their own while we were at the library.

Seriously some of the best stuff on earth.

I love that my kids know and have done the process from picking to peeling (I think I only peeled 4 or 5 apples on the whirley-gig because my kids loved doing it so much!) stirring to tasting. I know exactly what's in that applesauce--apples, water, and some organic cinnamon. And that's IT. No sugar, no high fructose corn syrup. Just a lot of excitement and zeal to give that sauce some sass.

Sunday afternoon plans--family apple picking!

2008-09-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited for Sunday. Usually it means Dan heading out before the sun to prep for Sunday services and the kids and I staying in PJ's all morning.

This Sunday will probably start out the same way, but we plan to have some pizza for us and anyone else who would like to join us on a trip to the apple farm for some U-pick apples!

They are open for picking on Sunday from 12-4pm. So:

Pizza @ Scotts after church (around 12:30?)
1:30ish leave to head to apple farm to pick 2pm 'til done

Ed Dunneback & Girl's Farm - apples, strawberries, pumpkins
3025 6 mile Road, NW Grand Rapids, MI 49544. Phone: 616-784-0058.
Email: dunnebackfruit@aol.com.
Apples, strawberries (u-pick and ready-picked), asparagus, sweet cherries, apple cider, caramel apples, donuts, pumpkins, squash, tomatoes, cornstalks, Indian corn, straw bales, recipes, play area, miscellaneous farm market items and more! Open: mid-May thru Oct. seasonal hours.

Directions: Located approx. 10 minutes NW of downtown Grand Rapids, Exit 26 (Fruit Ridge Ave.) off I-96, travel 3 miles to 6 Mile Road, Go east on 6 Mile Road, 1-1/4 miles to farm at corner of Peach Ridge Ave. Strawberries available mid-June. Come pick your own, or call ahead and order them all packed and ready to go. Hours are seasonal – 8:00a to 7:00p, depending on weather conditions and ripening.

I'll call on Saturday to see what's in season for picking.

lies...ALL LIES!

2008-09-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Remember that line from Austin Powers, the Spy who Shagged Me? Yeah, I'm glad I do. Because when I'm really upset about someone lying to me, I often think of screaming that, but just the thought of me screaming this line like the slick-haired Frau makes me pause, and it helps the anger subside.

Lies really hurt me. Lies really hurt you. Lies really, really hurt Jesus.

I have lied, do daily lie, and will probably always (but hopefully less and less) lie and hurt myself and other people. But I do not do it overtly or covertly very often.

I don't know whether to credit it to my parents or as a God-given thing, but for some reason when I tell a mis-truth, leave out a detail purposely, and whether I get caught or not, it bothers me to the core. Shaking and rattling my bones until I come clean or make it right.

Like the old Indian saying that a "conscience is a three-cornered stone that when you do something wrong spins and spins making you hurt on the inside until you make it right and make the stone stop spinning. But if you ignore and endure the spinning long enough, the cornered edges become so dull you don't even feel the spinning any more when you do wrong."

I think there must be some people out there that have ignored and endure it so long they don't have any idea that their three-cornered-rock is spinning anymore. I'm trying to teach my children to stop immediately and make things right when they do a wrong.

Not to let something you did hang over you or dis-affect you so much that you go on with life as if it never happened.

For some reason, my sense of justice is so acute it is what made me a killer HR person. I could sniff a 98% truthful answer as potently as fresh-ground coffee. I could read non-verbals like billboards, read the invisible ink of "between lines" of letters/e-mails as if they were written in Sharpie, and wasn't afraid to follow-up or ask tough questions flat out. It saved my company from any poor hires during the time that I was working for them. And the hires that I disagreed with or warned against turned out to be vindicated every time. Except for one--and I am so pleasantly surprised at that one. This justice thing, though, it's a gift and a curse. Black and white isn't a very colorful way to live.

And the same falls true in my relationships. If I ask you a question and you answer it, but then a few weeks later I overhear a slightly different variation on your first story, I know the differences. And I wonder if you ever knew me well enough to know you can't put something past me without me picking up on those slight changes.

Or if I confront you on something straight up more than once and either you give me a surfacey meant-to-be-funny answer and I bring it up again and you don't answer at all, you gave me the answer I already knew but in my heart of hearts was hoping wouldn't be true. And a little piece of me is sad.

As much as I hate all of this, I know there is a redemptive aspect to it. It's that 1/100 of what I think and feel as I reel from the stinging slaps of these injustices is what Jesus feels from me every day. And I need to feel and understand that empathetically to understand how my being faithful in the little things--no matter how tedious, painful, irksome, or sloggingly hard they are, they are necessary to restore His faith, trust, and relationship with me. That every time I am blatantly honest and apologize to someone for not answering the phone when they called because I "just didn't feel like it", Jesus is sad that I didn't feel like it, but says, "yes!", that I was honest, admitted my fault, and tried to apologize and make it right.

That when 2 days after taking a book from the library book sale without paying for it, I return and admit that I walked out of the library without paying for my purchase and am returning to pay the money I owed.

That when I make poor nutrition choices, don't exercise, spend more time nosing around in other people's business on the internet than I do with my kids, think negative thoughts about my husband's work schedule, make snooty assumptions about other moms I see at school drop-off/pick-ups, or only do a half-ass job of my Bible study lesson, I'm also a big, fat liar.

Yes, it sucks. It is painful. It is humiliating. It is frustrating. That's why Paul slashes these words across the page, "WHY do I do the things I DON'T want to do"?

Maybe, because we need to. To feel. To understand. To be reminded. To forgive ourselves and others. To better realize just how deep and wide and long and high is Jesus' forgiveness and acceptance of us. And to cut the people who do us wrong a little slack. Not to let them off the hook, but at least give them some wiggle room, another chance, and some extra time to make things right.

Transitioning

2008-09-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

These past weeks couldn't have gone better if I had planned them myself. Here's a little re-cap.

Week 1: Liam starts Kindergarten.

Week 2: Liam is starting to get his K-garten schedule down and we add in Elli starting preschool 3 afternoons/week.

This is week 3. This week we will add MY activities to the calendar. I'll be doing a women's bible study on Monday nights. Every Monday night. That means homework every week that needs to be done for each Monday study. That is pretty intense going from nothing to a weekly something.

I'll also be attending MOPS two Thursday mornings a month.

The Bible study and MOPS will be times for me to "receive". The study for me to receive instruction on how to get back into studying the Word and disciplining myself for God & me time. To receive encouragement and challenge from other women and maybe even practice my pastoral abilities with others.

The MOPS for me to drop my kids off in classes I know they enjoy while I fellowship with other moms in my age-and-stage of life while receiving encouragement from mentor moms. This is my second go at joining a MOPS colony, I hope my attempt to enter will be a lot less rocky than last time.

DV:FX starts up soon, and we have dates on the calendar for all sorts of school/preschool activities. So much for trying to keep our calendar open and empty so that we'll be ready for a trip to Africa and some concentrated family time, but that's our life.

So, things are about to get busy here. I'm looking forward to a fuller calendar. But not being overly busy to the point where we're stressed out. And I'm thinking my 'extra' time to write will be pretty limited.

Also, my computer has flatlined once. Dan somehow toggled it back to life, but I know that...along with the electrical-taped power cord and various other signs of aging and eminent death are showing themselves more and more frequently. Today's 6 hour flatline was not at all a sweet taste of what is to come.

I'm resigning myself to the fact that I will be without a computer in the near future and have to be OK with that. It sounds out of the question, painful, unheard-of and unnecessary. But when I think that our son is over in Ethiopia very likey going without meals, I think that going without a computer for a season is a very small and worthy price to pay.

melange

2008-09-11T09:45:00.001-07:00

I'm wearing a fully, twirly, girly skirt today. The girls were wearing skirts or dresses (anyone surprised) and asked me if I could dress pretty today too. I guess knee-hole jeans and free T-shirts from church aren't that pretty, huh? Liam asked me why I was all dressed fancy--I think he was afraid the week imploded and it was church day again already.

Speaking of Liam, he's home today with a cough, runny nose, and lots of snorking noises. I had the attendance line programmed into my phone and just pressed a button, left a message, and he gets what he likes to call, "a day off". We went to the library and got Scooby Doo & Batman for him to watch during naptime. Otherwise he'll just ride his bike, scooter, and play all afternoon when the whole reason for staying home was to rest...and NOT share germs with the rest of the K-garten class.

Addi is potty training. After 2 little dribble accidents the first 2 days, she has stayed dry. We just need to get her to do the "other" business on the toilet, then I think we'll be good to go. I'm not quite ready to free her from the beautiful confines of her crib just yet. So I'll still do diapers overnight 'til I'm ready for that next plateau.

The e-vites for a friend's baby shower just went out and it got me very excited. I have some work to do to fulfill my shower responsibilities, but let me just say they are some of my favorite things in the whole world that I get to do for her.

I enjoyed chatting with all 3 brothers within the span of the same week--that is unheard of.

I'm trying to watch calories. I was reading the back of a cereal box extolling the virtues of healthy eating and how many calories a person should/should not consume in a day and was just curious as to where I stand in those numbers. So far I've consumed 600 calories today between breakfast and lunch. No cocoa laden coffee or snacks for me thus far today. But not enough water, either. ugh. That'll be the next thing I start tracking and working on improving.

I'm almost done with the "fun" book I'm reading and I think I'll jump into my 2 required adoption books next. Like a pool on a chilly morning, I'll just squinch up my muscles, hold my breath, and get it over with.

Dan and I have been watching season 1 of "Scrubs" after we get the kids to bed and before we go to bed. I think we both have this dire need for being together and soaking in some easy funnies without having to exert any energy and a way to wind down after some grueling days adjusting to the new schedule of the schoolyear--be it for church or home-life.

'at's it for now, folks.

Growing old...GREYSfully

2008-09-04T17:31:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sighing and rolling my eyeballs while waiting for my dawdling daughters to brush their teeth. I happen to glance at myself in the mirror--not something a busy mom has a lot of time to do often. And I think the light must be hitting my hair funny.

I lean in a little closer...adjust my locks a bit...pull a few strands out of the way...then lift one up. And there it is. I shout, "I think I just found my first grey hair!" to Dan, who laughs and says, "have you looked at my head lately...I've got lots of greys".

I decided to stop coloring my hair about a year ago. After seeing Addi's reddish-auburn hair began to wonder what my "natural" color really was.

Well, I'm all about keeping it real. And I like silver jewelry and have a pair of shiny silver Addidas sneakers, so I guess I can handle a few silky strands of silver running through my hair.

I just don't think they fit with my freckles and youthfully exuberant outlook on life.

2008-09-03T05:40:00.000-07:00

We all decided to make 'sad faces' at lunch before taking Liam to K-garten. All except, Liam, of course. He was too excited!

He carefully chose his own outfit, even down to the tan socks he's wearing underneath his crocs--"because I'll have to change into my gym shoes and I need socks inside of them". He's way too smart already...

For the next umpteen years, this will be our children's place of learning.

He was so focused on getting to the door he almost forgot his 'specially packed back pack. Note: I was the single parent dropping my child off at the curb. All other K-gartners had entourages and camera crews escorting them from car to classroom. I had a tiny amount of guilt, but I think this was the most organic way for Liam to start school. He's not the big fuss type of kid. Ellison will be a whole other story...

Whew. No tears. He made it all the way to the doors. I did it. I'm ok. I can go to the grocery store now...

He has three neighbor GIRLS riding the same bus home...they are taking turns sitting with him each day. I think he'll be OK on the bus. My biggest fear is assuaged.

A mommy's blessing

2008-09-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Liam

Coming into our lives a *ahem* little before we had planned or expected, but changing them in a way we could have never imagined.

The most active baby I've ever had in my belly. Not happy until you were mobile. Once you learned to walk and run you've never stopped.

Your insatiable appetite for learning mirrors both your dad's and mine so much I don't know whether to burst with pride or worry. But, it helps me know that you'll love school--at least the learning part.

It was adorable how you were so focused on walking up the sidewalk to the K-garten door that you almost left your backpack in the van today. I'd rather have you so independent and confident albeit a tiny bit forgetful rather than...well...clingy.

Promising us to try to remember every single thing so you can tell us about it rather than being tight-lipped and private, I hope you always want to share your life and experiences with us.

The dough for tonight's requested meal of pepperoni pizza is in the breadmaker, and the applesauce is in the fridge. I hope your day is going great and that you get to try out the zip-line, that the locker didn't stick or pinch your fingers, that you meet and like Danny (and that he's a 'good' kid too), and that your ride home on the bus is everything you dreamed it would be.

I haven't shed a tear. I'm so happy for you. I wish I could go with you. I loved school. I pray that you will soak it up like a sponge, and either be totally oblivious to the "bad stuff" like kids being mean to each other, unkind words, or whatever else could go wrong, or that you're able to handle it well. I hope we've done a good job with you at home these first 5 years to prepare you for this and all the other exciting life experiences looming just on the horizon for you.

I'm praying so many things for you, Bugaboo. My heart is full. So much love to you always, my firstborn son.

Happy first day of K-garten Liam. Now, I'm off for some "me" time...!

2008-08-27T17:25:00.000-07:00

I was wandering the library shelves and happened upon this video. From 2008--yet I had never heard of it? I scanned the back and saw the word "adoption" and decided to bring it home.

Dan and I threw it in around 10:30pm last night. We were both exhausted and folding 2 loads of laundry. I said, "let's watch it for 10-15 minutes and see if it's worth finishing".

We watched the entire thing.

This was a swell little flick. Quirky. Lots of almost creepy whispering--but maybe we just had it turned down too soft? Just ankle-deep in adoption themes. Yet, strangely allegorical to a lot of facets of adoption in the reading we've been doing.

Amazing how quick and easy the adoption seemed to go for John Cusack's character (they must not have needed to show all the paperwork and waiting)--unless that was due to his character's sci-fi writer celebrity status?

The only thing I would have changed--I wish at the end he would have added the other side of the spectrum to his plea to talk his little Martian down from the planetarium rooftop.

Instead of saying "they were so stupid"( in reference to the parent(s) who abandoned him) I wish he would have said, "either they were the smartest people in the world for choosing to give you up for a better chance at life, or the stupidest for not realizing how wonderful you are and keeping you all for themselves".

Unexpected

2008-08-24T07:54:00.001-07:00

My parents taking all 3 kids overnight. I've never had this luxury before. I've never had parents who lived close enough to help us out in this way. Who want to be with our kids and are excited to get to spend time with them.

I'm jealous of all the others who get "free babysitting" or can just drop their kids off at the grandparents at the drop of a hat, I've felt so very trapped and ball-and-chained to my kids for 5 years now. I have a feeling that as soon as I get home to a quiet house I'll sit there in stunned silence and get not a single thing I've dreamed or fantasized about doing done because I'm so in shock. And then they'll be back...and I'll still be sitting un-showered in my PJ's wishing I could do it all over again.

"I would have to say April 25...

2008-08-20T10:06:00.000-07:00

...Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket." (10 pts)

It is gor-juss outside today. So I'm sitting on the front lawn watching my kids and their stuffed toys bike, skate and scoot-board, fiddle with the sprinkler, and shove each other then hug and make up whilst doing some work on the computer. And feeling so super content I could just about burst.

A lot of people came and went while we were on our road trip/vacation to Cape Cod, then a stop in Canada on the way back home. Friends, co-workers, acquaintances. It was a much easier transition being gone and not having to go through saying goodbyes, I must admit.

I'm frankly excited to see what the changes bring. I love mixing it up. If it weren't for our foray away from our hometown, we wouldn't be where we are today. Know the people who are shaping our lives in such a positive way. Be doing amazing things with God because we're meeting Him where He's working. Fill the holes others left open because they were willing to go. Invite fresh eyes and ears to creative processes for Dan at work. Flux bringing newness and variety--spicing up life for us all.

I'm excited to see LAB take on a new personality and format under Diane's passionate and super-organized guidance. I'm looking forward to meeting more people in my community by attending MOPS at a different church. I'm a little nervous to join a WW small group this year and really be held accountable by weekly Bible study and open sharing. I'm ecstatic that Liam's going to kindergarten because I know how much I loved school and see that love of learning in him too. I'm excited for a few months of concentrated "girl time" with Elli and Addi before #4 comes from Ethiopia. I'm trilling and tra-la-la ing at the next level our marriage seems to be climbing to with Dan. I love seeing my parents more often now that they have a second home in MI. I'm looking forward to a nephew being born and praying for a sister's pregnancy to happen. So many wonderful things are happening to us right now that I feel like a braggart, but we must be standing "under the spout where the blessings come out" right now.

What a place to be. I'll miss these lazy days of summer. I'll miss last year's roles and routines. But only a tiny bit--I'm looking forward to what each tomorrow brings and reveling in the todayness of today.

Is this a celebrity sighting?

2008-08-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

Seriously--it's like I'm trying to hide out...
and I'm on a private beach!

My new favorite spaghetti sauce

2008-08-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

Ingredients & Nutrition

Italian Sausage

Packed full with our fresh Italian Sausage, this sauce explodes with flavor!

This sauce has been carefully hand-crafted, using the finest meat, herbs and spices as a bold complement to your pasta, rice & breads.

You won't believe what it will do for your Lasagna!

Absolutely the best tasting Sausage Sauce!

Granted, the ingredient list starts off with water and tomato paste, so it's really nothing special. But for some reason this is the sauce that my homemade sausage, pepperoni and cheese pizza bread tastes the best dipped in.

Yes, it's normally $4.99 a bottle and no I never buy it at full price. While at D&W on a frantic tahini run, I saw jars of this sauce on the end-cap on sale for $2.99. I also saw a little coupon hanging around the neck of various jars for $1.00 off the purchase of a jar of sauce. So, I grabbed 4 jars (with the coupons on them of course) and staggered up to the express lane with my precariously-perched glass jars and spent $8 on what is usually $20 of spaghetti sauce.

To quote Elton John...

2008-08-03T06:43:00.000-07:00

It's sad, its so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

I've just been so sad lately. Beating myself up for failing as a friend, sister, mentor, mom, wife, daughter of God et al. I had a chance. I tried. Well, kinda. When it got hard, I bailed. It's hard to fight Satan, he's so strong and knows my weaknesses oh too well.

When I got rejected, I took it personally. I failed to see to the deeper need of the people I was called to serve and succumbed early on in the fight by letting a mere flesh wound signal my retreat. My strong sense of justice called me to fight to help break a sad, sinful cycle of addiction. Unfortunately, the one I was fighting for didn't want out--it's easier to stay in the cycle than break free. But I was willing to help walk the wire. My help wasn't wanted. For that I am sorry. I have failed you and myself, God's heart and mine hurt for that.

The saddest part, there are children involved. There was a chance for the cycle to be broken while the kids were small enough that they wouldn't be ravaged by the consequences, the poor examples they have as their gauge of what it looks like to be a man of God, woman of God, husband and wife who have left their parents and are cleaving to each other as God ordained, a healthy marriage worth the work, the muck, facing and weathering the storms. Healthy parental relationships rather than co-dependent ones well into adulthood. A reality based on relativistic ego-centrist interests rather than in ...well, reality. Financial nooses being tied rather than blisteringly unraveled by hard work and determination.

I tried writing a letter, but after praying, asking around for some objective advice as to whether or not to actually send it, realized that it won't be read and understood, but just misconstrued once again.

So, most of us with frustrated hurting hearts who have tried to help, tried to follow the guidelines in Matthew 18 of confrontation, who have tried via Bible studies and accountability groups, painful and often one-sided friendships, asking tough questions, giving and giving some more, attempting to mirror Christ to these people feel that although we ought to be forming an intervention to prevent yet another disaster-in-the-making, but that we have no other recourse except to bring our love and worries before God's throne.

To beg Him to bolster them up in the course that they have chosen. To shield their children from the storms ahead and their heritage riddled with the "sins of the fathers". To surround them with people who will be allowed to ask the tough questions and keep pursuing these wounded hearts when the game gets tough, when they start to lose, and when they try to pick up their marbles and leave...again. To break the cycles of addiction, enablement, co-dependency, and selfishness. To open ears and eyes so the misleading babble of the beautiful One can be clearly delineated from the sometimes challenging charges of our Savior. For strength to turn head knowledge into heart knowledge and the courage to really and truly live it out.

May your journey bring you back to the heart of God.

For me, I pray forgiveness. That God will release me from harsh words and thoughts. From failures to say and do what He prompted when He prompted because I was afraid of the repercussions. That I can put the past failures as far away from me as He does. For true forgiveness to continue to happen. That I won't dwell on the past or revel in guilt. That as friends come in and out of my life, they will leave knowing God more and Jenna less. That I won't be hesitant to pursue real relationships with them because I have been hurt by others. That I won't lean on my own understanding, but always lean on God. That I'll continue to face my sins, shortcomings, and acknowledge them and grow from them--confessing them to God rather than stumbling and tripping all over them while cutting and bruising myself in the process.

wind in my sail

2008-07-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

It's hard to sit back and watch people be dumb- especially when you, yourself, work so hard to do things right. People like us really need more appreciation, I think. Way to go, Jenna- you are a great Mom- and it is fun to sit back and watch great things happen to your family! :)
I just wanted to encourage you in how much God has just provided during this time for us and Heidi said you were a strong woman of God so I know that you know God is so in control of this and will provide all your families needs.
The women's ministry is doing a major mailing next Monday. I was wondering if you would like to include information on LAB? This would be a 1/3 page promotional piece.
Thanks so much for having us over and for being excited about our adoption journey, even as you are in the middle of yours! I can't wait to see how everything unfolds for you guys. We will definitely be in touch.
You are so on top of things. We are in such good shape. I can't believe how much time you have saved me.

One of the best e-mails ever

2008-07-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Jenna (or should I say, "Good Night, Jenna),

I wanted to e-mail and let you know that I received EVERYTHING for your
home study. I received a few things in my mailbox today (before our
training tonight), so I wanted to have a chance to come home and look over
everything before I told you your status. Congratulations! You survived
the home study process.

It has been a pleasure working with you to complete your home study, and I
hope that you keep me updated with your adoption journey.

God bless.

(Κάθαρσις)

2008-07-22T18:48:00.001-07:00

shaking head
thoughts buzzing like vertigo
chin tilted seesaw like with one eyebrow cocked
"i asked you to take it away, but like this? really?"
angst creeps up like stomach-acid
so many words bitten back, bidden silent--for right or for wrong?
disgusted but thankful for my grass no matter what shade of green
twisted, so twisted
wanting to want the best, but knee-jerking infection endowed sputum
fanciful insanity of the willed wild
"...the sins of the fathers..."
deep sadness and confusion
the cycle of addiction continues
enabled
so crippled
failure sheep-skinned and shellacked with Jesus isms
a reality skewed, skewered, contorted, distorted
shame
deaf & blind, probably a whole lotta dumb
poor beggar

2008-06-22T06:40:00.001-07:00

http://scottsadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/

Lagging

2008-06-13T06:08:00.000-07:00

I've hardly been writing here...or on LAB...but I've been doing lots and lots of thinking, reading, praying, writing on paper, talking on the phone, etc. You probably won't see much here for a while...I think we'll be focusing our time and energies other places for the next year or two. So read up--I may let this blog lag for a while and eventually even disappear...POOF!

2008-06-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

soccer + mom

2008-05-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Bad. This is bad. And not like when fat is 'phat'. Why don't we also snap a picture of me throwing like a girl, golfing with my hands on the club like it's a hockey stick, doggy paddling in the lap pool and throwing up a granny shot.

Now, really, folks. I did grow up playing all sorts of sports and being pretty good at most of them. Someone must have dropped a quarter in the grass next to the soccer ball...I know better than to look at the ball while kicking, don't I???

Seriously a modern-day miracle

2008-05-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

For Immediate Release
Date: May 22, 2008
Contact: William T. Cousins , III
Township Manager
(616) 949-1500

CASCADE TOWNSHIP PURSUES TWO OPEN SPACE PROPERTIES

(Cascade Township, Michigan) Cascade Charter Township took the first step today toward the
eventual purchase of two large, undeveloped parcels; thus preserving the Township’s open space for future generations. In today’s action, the Township signed an option agreement, which gives the Township the right to purchase 80 unoccupied acres of the Tassell estate property (located north of Burton Street and East of Cascade Road), to make it a public, open space for the township. This action is pending formal approval of the option agreement by the Cascade Township Board at its next regular meeting on Wednesday, May 28, at 7:00 p.m. Additionally, the Township has been actively pursuing other large tracts of property, also identified by the Township’s long-standing Open Space Committee. These major purchases, as well as future parcels deemed suitable for purchase by the Township’s Open Space Committee, are contingent upon the successful passage of a proposal seeking a millage increase on the November 4, 2008 ballot. The Township will continue to pursue other sources of financial support (e.g. private gifts, public grants, etc.), to augment the millage.

-more

Cascade Township News Release Page Two

The public acquisition of open space was identified as a high priority by the Township’s Open
Space Committee, and by a survey of Township residents, conducted earlier this year. The
aforementioned property acquisitions are being considered because they contribute to open
space, promote land conservation, and encourage careful stewardship of land and water
resources. The purchase of these parcels also meets many of the criteria of the Natural Features Inventory in a manner that supports the Township’s Master Plan. If exercised, the option for the Tassell estate property will allow for a closing on the property on or before December 31, 2008.
# # #

A small measure of success...for now...

2008-05-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

Uniting as neighbors, it seems we have had some success at stopping or at least stalling a horrific proposal to develop-to-death a large plot of land at the top of our street. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know a large number of our extended neighbors through this process and will continue to be actively involved in our township's future planning.

Dear Neighbors:

I just spoke with Steve Peterson and he confirmed that John Halland has withdrawn his proposal to develop the Tassell property. He reported to Mr. Peterson that he could not arrange financing. Mr. Peterson indicated that the escrow account Mr. Halland established with the township will be charged for all the services done for this proposal, and if there is anything remaining, it will be returned to Mr. Halland.

The next meeting of the Board is Wednesday, May 28th at 7:00 PM at the Wisner Center. There is likely to be discussion of this withdrawn plan and I encourage as many people as possible to attend, in order to demonstrate that the end of this proposal is not the end of our involvement.

The next meeting of the Planning Commission is on June 2nd at 7:00 PM at the Wisner Center. I will keep you informed of the agenda as it becomes available. Issue of stormwater runoff, erosion of streams, etc. are still in play in our township and we must stay involved.

So now, with this preposterous proposal withdrawn, we can get to the business of working with the township officials to correct the process that is used to propose developments, update and make specific the ordinances that have been written with too much room for interpretation and subjectivity, require that the Comprehensive Plan have the legal weight of an ordinance and generally improve the way we, the citizens of this township, view and interact with our own community. We have begun. THANK YOU. Dick

Skullduggery

2008-05-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

Playing pirate ship at the zoo. Fun times! Elli is saying "ahoy!" while I'm shouting "aaargh! where's me booty?". Liam is hoisting the sail and Addi is the gypsy princess.

Super Man cake

2008-05-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

Liam's birthday theme of choice this year was Super Man. He actually wanted Spider Man, but mom Hoffman didn't have a cake pan that would allow me to easily make a cake of the webbed wonder. This cake pan was one my mom used for my brothers when they were little and I was so excited to make a super cake with Liam and my MIL--who had never used an icing bag before! I think she's hooked, and I think I did pretty well to "let go" and let Liam ice the way he wanted to, and I just gulped and let the glaring brown spot of cake showing on Super Man's belt just stay that way rather than swoop in and fix it.

I feel pretty...oh so pretty...

2008-05-05T15:13:00.001-07:00

2008-04-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

You can look at me like you hate me. I'll look back at you with stubborn resolve at the heart of which is love.
You can narrow your eyes, avert your eyes, refuse to look me in the eye. But when you're ready to look at me, I'll still be looking at you.
You can treat me like I'm not in the room or not even in your life. But I'm not leaving the room, and even if I do, I'm not leaving your life.
You can be silent. Lock yourself away in your room or tap on your keyboard and pretend I don't exist while you while away the minutes, hours, days doing nothing. I'll keep listening to make sure you're there and that you're OK.
You can sob and pull on my heart strings so damn hard I physically hurt standing up tall despite the strain. I'll set the tissue box within your reach, and when you're not looking I'll go sob my heart out too.
You can make me wonder if I really am the bad guy. If I'm evil. If I'm mean for pushing you to do the right thing. For not backing down and letting you get away with being weak or making poor choices. I'm not perfect either, and I know that.

But I will not let you not be a man.

Up next, Jenna chains herself to a tree

2008-04-21T19:06:00.000-07:00

(Sent to neighbors4serenity)

I and 4 other neighbors attended tonight's (Monday) Planning Commission meeting. Here are some of my observations:

The case before the commission was a public hearing for an individual requesting a special permit to build an outbuilding on his property--basically a workshop and storage for ATV's, tractor, etc. There were photos, site plans, and Steve Peterson had made a site visit as well to walk the property and view the surrounding properties. The board asked if they had received any letters or phone calls about this case, and there had been none.

Steve's recommendation to the board was that the structure was within the guidelines of the township, and the building and materials used "would fit in with the neighborhood".

Not on the agenda, but Steve asked for the board's impromptu feedback about a bank that is being built on the Meijer lot (Kraft & 28th st) wondering how the township would feel about their adding a 4th drive-thru lane and or a stand-alone ATM onto their site. Some of the board comments about this idea were:

"I'm most concerned about NOT creating a traffic hazard
"The sight is already so tight"
"I don't know how much more we can really fit..."
"I'm afraid we've been trying to develop [this site] for the developer. I think they need to bring us a plan and we say yes or no"
"I'm more concerned about the traffic flow"
"That's enough. It's like putting a size 10 foot into a size 8 shoe"

I got the impression that they don't really want to interrupt traffic, cram things in, create safety hazards, etc. It gave me a warm fuzzy in regards to the concerns we have for the Tassel parcel being jam-pack-crammed with living spaces.

After the meeting, I asked Steve Peterson if we can expect responses to the letters we've written. He said there's really no way for anyone to respond to them as they have not yet received or seen an actual plan from the developer. He said he would be collecting the letters to copy and give to the board before the public hearing so that they would be informed on how the community feels about the project.

He assured me that the Halland proposal he had seen thus far was nothing more than a sketch with not even measurements etc written in on it, hence why they had asked him to get more detailed information before returning to them with a plan. One of the other board members standing nearby to listen to our conversation asked if I was on Windcrest (yes) and said that they are getting the feeling that there are quite a few people very passionate about this project. They said the original drawing had 97 homes on the site, then tried to remember if it was 103...I mentioned that the latest we had seen/heard was 101 homes. I also mentioned that the ponds keep moving--which got a laugh out of both members.

I mentioned that I hoped they got the impression that yes, a lot of us are very passionate, but it's because we care. I asked what we could be doing to best come alongside the board and work together on the potential development of this site, and Steve said that we don't need to come to all the meetings (we are certainly welcome, though)--he (meaning Halland) won't sneak in and get something approved at the last minute as there are deadlines to get on the agenda etc. He said that if we are organized for the public hearing--as in have a spokesperson from each neighborhood concerned, that will be best. Also in the area of letters, brevity is best (that's HIS recommendation...not mine;-).

I asked if there's anything else we can do, and he said "get on the board...there are spaced open...turn in your name." So...anyone want to volunteer?

All in all, I got a really good feeling that we probably have more on our side than we are anticipating--not to disband and let what will be just be, but at least they are getting a sense that we are "out there", that we are passionate, involved, concerned, and to keep doing what we are doing.

Also--there is a Planning Comission Board Open House at the library Tuesday night 5:30-7pm. Same time as the watershed meeting--which Steve affirmed that storm management water and run-off is a huge issue in the Tassel/Halland proposal. So let's really work that storm water management angle as much as possible! And get people out to talk to the board members, they aren't unapproachable at all--they want to hear from us and serve us the best they know how.

Hope this is a pat on the back to a lot of you as well as a shot in the arm to keep it up.

The baby doll

2008-04-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

artist (pronounced 'ar-teest') in Duff's bakery i am not, but able to take the old Wilton Raggedy Anne cake pan from 1971 and turn it into Addison's baby doll birthday cake i am.

I borrowed a recipe called "One bowl chocolate cake" from Jean and modified it just a bit to cut the sugar in half (this a cake for a 2-year old people, kids don't need sugar!), add a little bit of health (using olive oil and some rye flour instead of all white processed stuff) and give it some zing with a bit of fresh grated lemon zest. It was delicious. I don't know anyone at the party that didn't have two pieces!

I've never gone wrong with mom's recipe for vanilla butter frosting. And making the icing and decorating this bad boy...or baby doll...in under an hour amazes me. Imagine what I could have done if I had taken my time, and been able to do it without a "helping" 3 year old on the counter getting into all the tips, bags, colors, icing, candy, etc. or a crying 23 month old in one arm for most of the time!

Enough bragging about myself. I need to go to bed so I can wake up tomorrow and bask in memories of my last birth experience...that's another brag session in itself...and the child that has been a surprise and delight of gargantuan proportion. Addison Mabel, every birthday of yours will be happy for me because of the constant joy you bring to my life. I love you more than words can say, my little baby doll.

Yeah--it fits

2008-04-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

After taking the Facebook "Which Jane Austen Heroine Are You?" quiz, I realized I had not read or seen the Jane Austen novel whose heroine I most resembled.

So I read it at the cabin in about 2 days. I LOVED the book, and think I do quite resemble the heroine in many aspects. It's not spot on, but pretty close. Close enough to give me a chuckle.

I thoroughly enjoyed the wit Austen employed in this novel and would recommend you read it rather than the other well-known of her novels. This one is more unique, I think.

2008-04-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

Monday, April 7, 2008

Dear Township Board Members,

I am writing to present my concerns regarding the proposed development of the Tassel property into a high density housing complex called “Oak Park”.

My family and I moved to Cascade township in 2004. We moved here from Grand Rapids township because we liked the ambiance Cascade township provided—mainly that of unique homes on large wooded lots with an abundance of natural surroundings. We wanted to live in a place that was safe for raising children, where neighbors and community were part of our everyday life, and where we could be close to work, church, and good schools without being jam-packed up against neighbors the way we were in GR township.

When we chose our home on Windcrest street, we asked what the large tract of land at the top was, and were told it was the Tassel property—and that it would never be developed because it was protected land.
That's why we were shocked and dismayed to get the flier from Halland Homes outlining a garish housing complex that would turn our quiet cul-de-sac of a street into a veritable through-way for construction vehicles and ultimately upwards of 1,000 cars per day.

We had planned to live in this house for the duration of our lives (we are 31 with 3 small children), but have put a screeching halt on all of our planned home renovations until we hear the outcome of the township's decision on this development. We are afraid of the negative impact the actual construction will wreak on our homes as well as the fiscal decline all the surrounding neighborhoods will inevitably suffer if this development is authorized by the township in its current proposed form.

My biggest fear and absolute nightmare is that Windcrest will not only be used as a construction entrance during the construction phase, but even if it is initially deemed only an “emergency entrance/exit”, it will soon become just a through street to 1,000 plus cars. [PUD 16.02(4)], [PUD 16.03(3.b)], [PUD 16.04(5.d, 5.g]

The only relief in this situation for us is knowing you are there. You are Cascade township residents just like we are looking out for the best interest of your constituents and the township as a whole. When we placed the Halland Homes site plan next to the Cascade township zoning ordinance, we could clearly see that they did not line up. That gave us hope that this project could not come to fruition as proposed because you had already created guidelines to protect residents from having their properties infringed upon and from developers being allowed to change the landscape and aesthetic of the township simply to maximize their profit margins. Thank you for protecting us by having these rules and regulations in place so that land is not simply developed for the profit of others at our expense!

1.To encourage the use of land in accordance with its character and adaptability.
Halland stated that they will first need to “clear cut” the site and “site balance” it in order to build a development. This clearly wipes the land clean of any character it might have boasted of. [PUD 16.03(2.b, 2.c), [PUD 16.04(4)], [PUD 16.04(5.a, 5.b, 5.e, 5.f, 5.i, 5.j, 5.k)]
Home sites will need to be retro-fitted for walk-out basements, which do not naturally occur with the landscape of this parcel, but rather because in Halland's words, “no one wants a flat house anymore, so to make walk-outs we have to scoop out dirt to make 'em.” [PUD 16.03(2.b, 2.c)], [PUD 16.04(4)], [PUD 16.04(5.j)]
The character of the current property is lush ground cover, trees, wildlife habitat, and pond areas—these will need to be removed and rearranged in order to replace them with proposed homes and recreational areas rather than building between and around the current natural landscape.[PUD 16.03(2.b, 2.c,2.d)], [PUD 16.04(4)], [PUD 16.04(5.a, 5.b, 5.e, 5.h, 5.i, 5.j, 5.k)]
Adaptability—the biggest hurdle is getting water to the home sites by tapping into current water pipes as well as damming, burming, piping, and using ponds to keep natural run-off from the site from running onto other properties. It makes no sense to me to have to force all of the water re-distribution proposed to make this home site work. Hence, the adaptability of this land for such high density home sites is not inherent.[PUD 16.03(2.b, 2.d)], [PUD 16.04(1,4)], [PUD 16.04(5.a, 5.b, 5.c, 5.f, 5.k)]

2.To promote the conservation of natural features and resources.
Halland will be clear-cutting this land, removing and chipping all the trees on it then shipping the chips off-site. [PUD 16.03(2.b)], [PUD 16.04(4)], [PUD 16.04(5.a, 5.b, 5.e, 5.f, 5.i, 5.j, 5.k)]
Wildlife will be displaced. (We were told not to say anything about the deer, wild turkeys, rabbits, hawks, mice, spiders, bugs, snakes, etc., so I am not going to mention any of them) [PUD 16.03(2.b)], [PUD 16.04(4)]
Current water-holding areas will be “moved” and re-created to allow the housing development.[PUD 16.03(2.b)], [PUD 16.04(1,4)], [PUD 16.04(5.c, 5.k)]
There will be nothing “natural” left—everything on this entire site will be manufactured—even and especially the “common areas” and “open space”. We asked if Mr. Halland would transplant any of the trees on site and he said no.[PUD16.03(2.b)], [PUD 16.04(4)], [PUD 16.04(5.i, 5.j, 5.k)]
One of the most important natural resources on the Tassell property is the ground which acts as a natural water filter for those of us whose homes subsist on well water. I shudder to think what the water filling our wells would be like should this development be approved—no longer having the 80 acres of natural filtration and now dealing with toxic fertilizers, chemicals, nitrates, phosphates etc. the residents and caretakers of these homes may choose to use on their homes and properties or would naturally occur form their day-to-day existence in these homes.[PUD 16.03(2.a, 2.b, 2.c, 2.d,2.e)], [PUD 16.04(4)]
Should wells become tainted or poisoned as a result of this development, will well-water residents be forced to hook up to city water at their own expense? [PUD 16.03(2.b)]
Today we had a rainy day. I snapped pictures of water streaming down Windcrest. I cannot imagine the floodwaters that would roll down our street every time it rains should the 80 acres at the top be developed into concrete slabs that do not absorb water, sloped and designed to make it run off from their properties. [PUD 16.03(2.b. 2.d)], [PUD 16.04(4)], [PUD 16.04(5.b, 5.c, 5.k)]

3.To encourage innovation in land use planning and development.
There is nothing innovative about cramming as many homes as you can onto a plot of land for your own personal gain and at the great expense of everyone in the surrounding vicinity. [PUD 16.03(2.a, 2.d)], [PUD 16.04(1, 4)], [PUD 16.04(5.g, 5.i, 5.k)]
There is no intentional site-integration planning involved in this proposal, simply the most quick-fix and biggest bang-for-your-buck type of plan that will bring a quick flow of cash, but in the long run be a costly and ghastly mistake. [PUD 16.03(2.a,2.d)], [PUD 16.04(1, 4)], [PUD 16.04(5.g, 5.i, 5.k)]
This land would be a perfect opportunity to try to attract people of the creative class to Michigan—by luring them with beautiful, creative, unique homes set in a ethereal forest-like setting. Not repel them with pre-fab-like row houses. [PUD 16.03.(2.e)], [PUD 16.04(5.e, 5.k)]

4.To promote the enhancement of housing, employment, shopping, traffic circulation and recreational opportunities for the people of the Township.
It is obvious that flooding the current housing market with more supply when there isn't even any demand will only drive down housing values. [PUD 16.03(2.d)], [PUD 16.04(5)
Currently, there is one buyer for every 12.5 sellers (that is for all of Kent County and adjoining counties). For the past two plus years we have been in a double digit buyer to seller ratio which may not mean anything to some people unless they are aware that about four years ago we were running ratios in the high sixes to mid eights back when the market was healthy and the housing market was peaking. As the last page of the report demonstrates, the majority of homes selling in the area are homes under $150,000 (a whopping 75%!), if any builder is saying that new $300,000-$500,000 homes are moving the best, I would have to beg to differ and ask for some documentation. My figures are straight from the Multiple Listing Service of the Grand Rapids Association of Realtors of which this builder is a member. (Kim Paavola, Greenridge Realty-Cascade)
When I go to the MLS and search all sold properties in Forest Hills schools from 4/1/07 to 4/1/08, here is the breakdown of homes sold in various price ranges: --$0 - $150,000 = 104 homes sold --$150,000 - $300,00 = 316 homes --$300,000 - $500,000 = 161 homes --$500,000+ = 65 homes. This includes both new and existing homes, again if any builder is claiming that $300,000 to $500,000 is the most active, then I'm not seeing it. That being said I will agree that a good portion of the market in that price range is attracted to new homes but of the 161 homes that sold in the $300K to $500K range mentioned above, 117 of them were two years old or older. Certainly not every new home that was sold was listed but I think saying that new homes in the $300K to $500K range are selling the best is an ambitious statement. (Kim Paavola, Greenridge Realty-Cascade)
This unsightly design does not in any way enhance housing for anyone in the Township.[PUD 16.03(2.c, 2.d)] , [PUD 16.04(1)], [PUD 16.04(5)
Traffic on roads around this proposal are already in various states of disrepair and crowding. Adding upwards of 1,000 cars per day will increase traffic circulation problems and multiply safety issues necessitating an increase in public service entities.[PUD 16.03(2.b)], [PUD 16.04(1)], [PUD 16.04(5.f, 5.g, 5.h, 5.k)]
There are no recreational opportunities presented in this plan for people of the Township. As a gated community, only inhabitants of the community will be able to use the recreational areas of the development. [PUD 16.03(2.a)], [PUD 16.04(4)], [PUD 16.04(5.e, 5.f, 5.h, 5.k)],
The incorporation of the bike path with the entrance to the development sounds like a certain death-trap rather than a sage design in safety for the welfare of walkers, joggers, bikers, etc that regularly use the bike path. [PUD 16.03(2.a, 2.b)], [PUD 16.04(1,4)], [PUD 16.04(5.d, 5.g)]

5.To promote and ensure greater compatibility of design and use between neighboring properties.
All the properties on the surrounding areas enjoy large, private, wooded lots. Living on Windcrest, which has the smallest lots of all the surrounding properties, we enjoy our own vegetation, privacy via a large amount of trees, homes staggered down the hill so that we are not looking into each others' windows, as well as a generous amount of land between each home. Not to mention each home is unique in design and layout in accordance with the flow of the land—for instance our home has a walkout basement because the slope of the hill allows it while our next door neighbors do not have a walkout basement because their slice of land does not. [PUD 16.03(2.c)], [PUD 16.04(1,4)], [PUD 16.04(5.a, 5.b, 5.d, 5.e, 5.f, 5.g, 5.h, 5.i, 5.j, 5.k)]
This afternoon I drove around to look at other homes and lots around the Tassel property. What Halland is proposing could not be more different and incompatible with what is currently in that area. Cookie cutter homes on a flattened section of land cleared of all trees and vegetation has no place in this township—in fact it reminded me more of the side of town I moved away from—Kentwood.[PUD 16.03(2.c)], [PUD 16.04(1,4)], [PUD 16.04(5.a, 5.b, 5.d, 5.e, 5.f, 5.g, 5.h, 5.i, 5.j, 5.k)]

On a positive note, I like the idea of employing a local developer. In Michigan's current economic state, I am thrilled to keep as much work “in house” as possible. I believe one of Mr. Halland's residences lies within Cascade township, which I assume means he has a vested interest in the look, feel, and aesthetic of the township he and his family live in. I would hope that profit generated from this project might be recycled back into the township. I have heard second and third-hand that Mr. Halland is a good developer, builds beautiful houses and is good to work with in selling and closing on homes, yet I have also read articles lambasting him for despoiling coastal dunes and beaches and that The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is investigating possible criminal charges against Halland. (Muskegon Chronicle, June 7, 2007).

I believe the currently proposed development does not in any way, shape, or form coincide with Cascade township ordinances for developing within the look and feel of our township's aesthetic. I also fear many greatly negative ripple effects fiscally, naturally, to traffic patterns, safety especially to bike path users and Windcrest residents, and emotionally to the residents surrounding the entire perimeter to the proposed Oak Park development.

In the Spring 2008 Cascade Connections newsletter, one of your goals is to “Continue to seek and aggressively pursue large tracts of land for open spaces preservation. Seek additional opportunities for public and private partnerships in this.” The property in question for proposed development would make a fabulous open space, park, or bike path crossroads for the people of Cascade township to enjoy. Has this line of inquiry been pursued?

Thank you for receiving and representing our common concerns in regard to this proposed development.

Sincerely,

The Scott Family—Jennifer & Dan, Liam, Ellison, Addison
7114 Windcrest St SE

I am...

2008-03-31T10:49:00.000-07:00

I took the "which Jane Austin heroine are you?" quiz and came up with this one. I haven't read this book yet, but just ordered it from the library. From her description, I think it's about half correct...or maybe it's spot on and I'm not willing to admit I'm perceived as naive and loved for my childlike adventurous spirit?

Catherine Morland

You love to read and often allow your over-active imagination to run away with you. You are not afraid of a mysterious adventure, and as a tomboy would rather be apart of the action than sit around gossiping with the girls. You are considered humble and often naive, but you always learn from your grand mistakes. You are loved for your childlike and adventurous spirit.

Funny stuff

2008-03-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

While I was up to my elbows in fluffy pink bows and heart-riddled bridal shower wrapping paper at Party City, my husband and kids were at the back of the store goofing off. I had no idea they had done this until Dan uploaded these pictures, which he entitled "channeling Elton John". Seriously folks, how much life was missed before they put cameras on cell phones?

Easter Dinner

2008-03-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

Le Menu

Spiral sliced ham with pineapple

Mashed potatoes with pink ham gravy
Green bean casserole
Resurrection buns

If you or anyone you know needs a place to sup for Easter dinner, the Scotts extend an open invitation. Please let us know how many will attend. (So I can make enough resurrection buns)

We are bad parents

2008-03-09T06:16:00.000-07:00

One day while I was running errands and Dan was babysitting, Liam gave Addi a "haircut". She now has a mullet-type look on one side of her head.

Not too many days after the first haircut, I was home with the kids when Elli decided Addi needed some "bangs"--right in the middle of the top of her head.

Now you know why I keep putting a side ponytail and myriad hair clips all over Addi's little head. It is NOT because I am stuck in the 80's.

Smokey Spice

2008-02-29T10:01:00.000-08:00

My food nerd friend, Heather, did this first. I think my spice is right on.

You Are Cumin

You are warm, unique, and pretty dominant.

It's also pretty likely that you smoke or like fire.

You are energetic and intense. You definitely stimulate people.

What Spice Are You?

2008-02-28T14:59:00.000-08:00

At camp this weekend, we tried to drive the Odyssey up the hill to the rec center. But the icy hill and hairpin curves foiled us, and we had to back down the hill. Our camp friends fired up two John Deere Gators--one of which I got to drive. Liam LOVED the Gators, but little did he know that his mommy loved driving them even more. There's another "first" on my list--driving a John Deere. And ENJOYING it. Yikes! Never saw that one comin'.

C is for cookie

2008-02-18T13:19:00.000-08:00

So, I've been singing "C is for cookie" --but changing the letter to suit my kids' names and sing about them--for about 5 years now.

Today after lunch we cleaned up our places and sat down to eat our cookies for dessert. We were talking 'Cookie Monster' (me like cookie, um, um, um) when Liam asked me to sing "L is for Liam", then "E is for Elli", I had to ad-lib "A is for Addi" because I've not sung that to her yet. After I finished, Liam started singing "J is for mommy". (You think I was going to stop and correct him? No way--I totally knew what he meant and there was no stinkin' way I was going to stop his song because I couldn't wait to hear what he came up with!)

"J is for mommy, she is a really good mommy" (yes, I was sobbing by this point)
"J is for mommy, she likes purple"
"J is for mommy, she likes candies that are chocolate"
"Oh J is for mommy, mommy, mommy.

I even got a second verse, but I can't remember any of it. It was just totally unexpected and sweet. Especially after we had a bit of a 'rough' morning.

Even more shocking--I can't believe how well he knows me--even the second verse was spot-on things about just me. Not generic like "she is a girl" or "she has yellow hair". Shocking because children are totally ego-centric until between ages 4-6. Liam's not yet 5.

That, and a bunch of other things I can't talk about here, really made my day today. Speaking of C is for cookie...I'm gonna go get me 'nother cookie before the kids wake up from their naps. See ya!

I miss bonfires!

2008-02-14T07:40:00.000-08:00

It's winter, but summer's comin'!

My big little stack of 'dirty' books

2008-02-11T12:49:00.000-08:00

I'm so thankful our local library has self-checkout. If I had taken this mammoth stack of sex books to a librarian to check out for, I think they would have been mortified. And rightly so.

I can just imagine one of them leaping over to the computer system to 'flag' my account as a possible sex fiend after checking out the titles I did. Then using Purell to cleanse their hands and eyes from what they had just been subjected to looking at. And I picked the 'tame' titles! There were a few steamy ones I had to ~~make myself~~ put back on the shelves. Some were inappropriate and some were perplexing to this aspiring sex kitten. Meow?

For each LAB meeting, I endeavor to provide as many resources as possible on the topic at hand. In preparation for Monday night's LAB meeting (on returning to intimacy after baby--or the sex pep-talk) I wanted to have a wide variety of marriage, intimacy, communication, and sex books available for anyone brave enough to come to the meeting.

Here is what I checked out:

The Sex-Starved Marriage: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido by Michele Weiner Davis

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality by Rob Bell

Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy... and Sometimes I Let Him Sleep by Karen Scalf Linamen

Sex 101: Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start by Clifford & Joyce Penner

Five Essentials for Lifelong Intimacy by Dr. James Dobson

Now What?: The Chapman Guide to Marriage After Children by Gary Chapman

Living Romantically Every Day by Barbara Taylor Bradford

the Seventeen guide to SEX and YOUR BODY by Sabrina Solin

Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women by Deborah Blum

The Marriage you've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman

The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman

Is That All He Thinks About?: How to Enjoy Great Sex with Your Husband by Marla Taviano (my friend with whom I went to college)

Every Man's Battle: Every Man's Guide to...Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey

Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?: More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Whiskey Sour by Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg (this book is hilarious, and is apparently a sequel to Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini--I've gotta get this book too!)

I've also read and reviewed Sex Begins in the Kitchen: Because Love is an All-Day Affair and Is there Really Sex After Kids? on the blog before.

So, I'd love to sit and chat, but I have some reading to do. Then a husband...to...cough...cough...giggle...do.

you know you're an old fart when...

2008-02-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

...Virginia Woolf's insane proliferations are more appealing to you than the Grammy's.

Cooking up a storm

2008-02-10T16:16:00.000-08:00

Cold weather outside is my perfect excuse to fire up the oven inside.

Saturday night I whipped up some spinach artichoke dip for Dan and I to enjoy while watching "Hero". Oh...it was amazing. The dip, that is. I'd share the recipe but I don't cook from recipes, so...sorry! I liked the movie a lot too. And the Cap'n Morgan...

Sunday I put an eye of round roast in the oven to slow-cook all day, made hand-mashed champ and organic green bean casserole. This meal tasted so much like childhood Sundays to me that I ate two platefuls and forced myself not to indulge in a third.

This afternoon I wandered into the realm of brownies from scratch. I just cannot help myself from adding health to everything I cook, however. And although I could have easily made a dense, gooey, moist, buttery decadence of a batch of brownies, I "snuck" in pumpkin puree and raisins, while cutting down the sugar and butter called for in the recipe. They're smashing with a glass okf milk, cup of coffee, slathered in natural peanut butter, Fluff, some leftover chocolate frosting, or Cool Whip.

Ding!

2008-02-06T19:20:00.001-08:00

I just had the most serious epiphany.

THE INTERNET IS THE NEW ANSWERING MACHINE

Seriously. We shut our laptops to go watch TV (or in some cases go play video games) then run back afterwards to check and see what we 'missed' while we were 'gone'. We sleep at night just to wake up in the morning and check in to see what went on overnight.

This is just crazy to me.

(Or maybe I should re-arrange that last sentence to say 'me is just this to[o] crazy'?)

Friday night

2008-01-25T17:10:00.000-08:00

It's Friday night. 7:45pm. We have all 3 kids in bed. Not asleep yet, but in bed. Here's our convo: (I never use the word convo to mean conversation, but my friend H does, and it cracks me up)

J: Is the library still open?
D: No, it closes at 5 on Fridays
J: Poor planning, no movie to watch
D: Lah-dee-da...dum--dee-dum...
J: You have gift cards--you should go shopping
D: I wanted to go shopping earlier, but I knew the kids were beyond it
J: You are allowed to have alone time
D: I have alone time all day at work--you need alone time
J: Hey, if you will enjoy yourself and have fun, go do it
D: I'll probably come back without anything. I don't understand why I'm so picky lately--I never want to buy anything
J: It's because we realize the value of our money--we don't spend it on just any old crap because we feel like spending. It's all Dave Ramsey's fault
D: laugh--yeah. It's true though
J: GO. Have fun. I'll read a book and chill out or something

fade

A virtual thank you

2008-01-12T06:05:00.001-08:00

In response to this

Dear FRIEND,

Whoever you are, you have made me curiouser than George.

First of all, when I received a card from A FRIEND, I immediately knew it was something good, but something in me was wary. Why don't you want me to know who you are?

Secondly, instead of being thankful for the fun gift, my type A brain immediately had to work at figuring out who you are. I mean, I was examining the envelope for "clues", postal markings, comparing the envelope to the card, looking for hairs stuck in the hot glue, fingerprints on the gift cards, sniffing the insert for any giveaway scents (??? I'm not even sure I would know what that would be either--coffee, Pert Plus, un-showered morning breath--who knows?). It was almost sick how totally zealous and determined I was to figure out who you are! Then I started wondering who would have one $20 Meijer gift card and two $10 Toys/Babies R Us gift cards--or who would go to the two separate stores to purchase them as such. Seriously--my brain went into hyperactive over-drive trying to figure this one out.

THEN--trying to figure out what to buy. OHHHH! The struggle. I seriously--literally--spent 3 hours on-line looking at the Toys R Us website trying to figure out what to buy. Then I spent an hour at the Toys R Us store all by myself, and still came home with nothing. I over-analyzed the entire purchase so much I couldn't even make a decision much less a purchase!

Meijer--that was only slightly tough. I had to keep myself out of the kitchen section--although a splurge for me, I was afraid anything purchased there might qualify as "wisely" and I was REALLY afraid of the punishment you threatened if I chose to spend the gift card that way. I mean, I'm sure you were hiding around the corner, in disguise holding up a newspaper with two eye slits cut in it or sitting up in the security booth watching me on camera to see what I picked out. Right?

I ended up buying myself a pair of New Balance sneakers I found in the clearance section for only $15--then I added a $6 organic cotton long-sleeved T-shirt to give me almost an entire "new" outfit--totally frivolous, and definitely for me alone.

On my third trip to Toys R Us, I landed on an item for our family. I chose the game "Perfection" as it was something I remember enjoying as a kid. So far, my kids have only fought over it, so it's tucked away for another year or two until they can play and enjoy it rather than fight over it. It's a sentimental and totally frivolous purchase as I could have easily nickel and dimed the gift cards on clearance crappo, but instead decided to go old school and get something I remembered from my childhood that maybe my kids will one day remember too. And after the countless hours I spent searching for just the right item, I thought it would be piquant to choose "Perfection".

Now, dear FRIEND, I have given up on trying to figure out who you are. Although I have my short-list of guesses. I'm just waiting for you to burst out "gotcha, it was ME" one of these times we're together.

But it would be much more scintillating if you never reveal yourself and I can continue to treat everyone as if you were my FRIEND.

Sincerely,

Jenna Scott

I got RAK'd (RAK = Random Act of Kindness)

2008-01-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

A few days before Christmas, I got a letter in the mail.

Inside the envelope I found a Christmas card with 3 gift cards hot glued to it and a color-printed insert that explained this surprise gift. It said:

Merry Christmas

Jenna, please accept these gift cards under the following conditions::

The Meijer Gift Card -

This must be used on you alone or on you and Dan.

It MUST be spent frivolously (Eg. Bottle of wine and fancy dessert-that is if you decide to share with Dan.)

If I find out that you spend this "wisely" you will be punished.

The Toys/Babies R Us Gift Cards -

These must be used on the kids or a family item.

These MUST not be spent on something practical (Eg. No diapers)

If I find out that you spent these "wisely" you will be punished.

LOVE, A FRIEND

OK. Whoever did this, first of all, thank you for this completely unexpected and fun $40 of shopping. You totally floored me. You got me. You made me cry, you booger!

Second of all, I LOVE A CHALLENGE! And, I haven't been reading mystery books since I was 8 for nothin'!

********* THE CLUES *********

The letter was addressed to me in all all caps, blue ink, medium point pen--Bic I think. The writing appeared to be male--possibly a wife asked her husband to address it so her handwriting wouldn't give her away? Or a guy sent it, awkward, but still thoughtful.

The return address area only revealed that it was from "A FRIEND".

The USPS printing only revealed that it was from a Grand Rapids zip code beginning with the numbers 493. (That means it was mailed in Ada?)

Hmmm...only someone with extensive glue-gun knowledge was able to attach the gift cards.

Not to mention computer saavy to get the instructions to fit exactly to the card's interior. And the red and green letter-alternating-patterning was perfectly done--either someone is very good or has waaaaay too much time on their hands. And I don't know anyone with too much time on their hands, so it has to be the former.

Knows my spouse's name is Dan.

Knows we aren't teetotalers (hence the bottle of wine comment), yet doesn't know that I don't care for wine unless it's in a highly fruited and very juiced sangria.

Someone knows me very well in that they knew my first, second, and third thoughts upon seeing the gift cards would be, "sweet! We can get 1/2 tank of gas with the Meijer card and a case of diapers with Babies R Us cards!" Good thing you put the rules in place.

I'm wondering how you are going to know how I spend these gift cards and whether or not I'll need to be punished. And you must feel pretty comfortable with me to threaten punishment!

I have a few guesses as to who is "A FRIEND" rolling around in my head. (ooh, misplaced modifier! I don't have a friend rolling around in my head, but I do have some guesses rolling around in my head)

I think the point, though, is not to find out who "did this to me", but rather to gracefully accept an unexpected gift. And to step outside my normal pragmatic and thrifty self to enjoy a little self-indulgence at someone else's expense.

Thank you, FRIEND. For knowing me enough to set the "conditions", for caring enough to take the time to make receiving this card so much fun for me, for giving me $40 + the cost of a stamp which you could have very well spent on yourself or your own family, for sharing humbly via anonymity.

it's so not fair

2008-01-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

when Dan just gets to jet-set off to Orlando for a weekend to work and I have to stay home with the 3 kids.

Yes I'm being a baby. Yes I'm bitching. Yes I'm jealous. Yes I'm dreading it already. Yes I have issues. Yes, I'll get over it. But not for a while.

dammit it's so not fair.

Sneak Peek

2008-01-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

This post won't go up on LAB until Saturday. But I thought it was a fairly decent piece of writing with some amazing photography by Dan. The "Journal Entry" header was created by Nate. I love collaboration!

Virtual friendships

2007-12-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

Dan and I have been talking about a lot of things lately. But one topic regularly pops up that really intrigues me. This phenomenon of virtual friendships. Wheedling your way into relationships based on commonality by what you own, what you do, what you enjoy, etc. Instantly, you are linked for life to everyone else who knows and also owns or likes the same kind of car you drive, which type of computer you own, which gaming system you use, what cities you travel to, music you listen to, have the same number of kids, attend(ed) the same school or church, work at the same place, or were at an event you attend probably just to take pictures so you can post them online. Oh, the infinite vastness of the blogospheres. At the drop of a few bucks, purchase of a certain item, or a registration of any type--BAM, instant community!

Do we not remember how to start, cultivate and grow friendships IRL any more? Has our human-ness atrophied this much?

Often this type of community seems so cheap and inauthentic to me. My personal persuasion is that I only become online friends with people I already know IRL. I'm not really in the market for shiny new, surfacey, dollar-store friendships based on me driving a Honda Odyssey van, currently reading Diane Mott Davidson, listening to Christmas music on iTunes, or because I enjoy cooking, travel, and discovering new places.

And I'm even more __________(verb) with people who keep seeking out these disposable friendships and forsaking the real life people right in front of them.

What? You don't have U2 listed as your favorite band anymore? Ba-bye. You decided Apple is not the almighty? Blasphemer--I can no longer IM with you. You didn't like the comment I wrote on your blog and I'll never hear from you again? Um...OK? You misread what I was trying to tell you in an e-mail and you deleted me off your Facebook friendlist?

Or--on the flip side. I don't have any friends, I think I'll go buy some. Hm--if I decide to go to space camp to become an astronaut I'll instantly have tons and tons of friends who are also going to be flying to the moon. Yeah, I like that idea. I'll do that. I don't have as many friends on Facebook as __________(insert name), I'd better fill out more personal information so more people will find me and I can beef up to become a super-friend. People haven't been commenting on my blog, I'd better read and comment on theirs to drum up some traffic. Or maybe I'll re-design, or move to a new "location" and start over.

I think I'm just really disgusted with people these days who are living virtual lives instead of real ones. I mean, heaven forbid the power go out or the internet go down for a few hours or days--some people just about lose their lunch when they're so "unconnected" to the "outside world".

I'll be the first one to raise my hand and admit I've gone through times of addiction to virtual community. It's so empty. I've never been one to look at or be addicted to porn, but I have a feeling it's on the same plane and a lot more justifiable and a lot less taboo than porn. Shame on me. Shame on all of us who fall prey to the cheap electronic relationships we seek and pursue online deceiving ourselves that they will be just as fulfilling IRL as well.

When we step away from our computer screens, we're awfully exposed, aren't we? Are you practicing your human-ness so that if the network ever implodes you'll still be able to converse with people, and want to? Can you still hand-write letters? Communicate with and comprehend people's non-verbals? Weather the rough times with people rather than just signing off and changing your screen name, getting a new e-mail address or blog, and clicking on "Register me now" for a new life?

Sugar-FREE advent calendar giveaway

2007-11-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

Growing up, our family counted down to Christmas using a special advent…piece…my mom had cross-stitched just for us. There were 24 plastic rings sewn onto this piece to hold tiny candy canes. Each day, one of the four kids would rotate getting to take and eat a candy cane off the calendar.

As we got older (and wiser?) we demanded better candy than tiny, boring old candy canes. I’ll never forget my mom Scotch-taping holiday colored Hershey’s kisses to each ring by the little Hershey’s kiss flag in each candy. Or the fact that our dog, Cinders, ate all the candies–wrappers and all–while we were at church one Sunday.

Last year my brother, Greg, brought home a Starbucks advent calendar complete with tiny numbered red drawers and stocked with milk and dark chocolates. We all enjoyed eating our way to Christmas, but it was so short-lived and meaningless to me. I had the creative urge to tap the potential this $14.95 little calendar was tempting me with. (They’re $15.95 this year–yikes!)

So, this year, when I pulled out the advent box, my kids started the chorus of, “ooooh, caaaandy!”

But I quickly squelched that dream. I told them that instead of candy this year, we were going to pull out little pieces of paper that would tell the Christmas story day-by-day throughout the month of December. They weren’t as excited about that idea, but they were intrigued. I’ll take intrigued and run with it.

I have visions of a hand-made storybook with kiddie-drawn pictures illustrating each day’s snippet of the new-to-them odyssey. Of my kids really getting Christmas. Of them being able to recite the story from Luke 2 by memory just a few short years from now. Of them looking forward to reading the familiar story every year and if filling them to the brim with excitement and giving them goosebumps every time they read it. Of Jesus is the Reason for the Season being more than a clever rhyme.

I’m offering a FREE advent calendar complete with kid’s version of the Christmas story to one lucky LAB reader. If you are interested in winning this prize, you’ve got to hurry as Dec 1 is just around the corner! Leave me an insightful comment and I’ll pick the one that strikes a chord with me most as the winner on Friday December 30. I’ll either deliver or mail the calendar to the winner!

A Joey Lawrence "whoa!"

2007-11-15T15:49:00.000-08:00

So, I was checking the LABlog stats today and was like "how come like a zillion people are reading this one article? Hmm....wonder where all these referrals are coming from?"

The nice thing about Wordpress is that it will answer those questions by letting you know who is referring readers to your posts.

I clicked and almost wet my panties. LAB is linked to a Wall Street Journal article today!

I can't take credit--it's linked to an article Diane wrote. She deserves all the credit. Nice job, Diane! Congrats on being published on LAB, and linked to the WSJ online!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119507669361593207.html?mod=hps_us_editors_picks

FREE MOVIE! FREE TURKEY!

2007-11-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

I’m not usually a coupon-user or gimmick-getter, but this week I was. My neighbor gives us her Sunday paper each week after reading all the sections she’s interested in. I clip coupons, read the comics, study the grocery store ads, then recycle. I don’t use the coupons unless it’s for an item I was already planning to get and it offers me additional savings, but this week I was glad I had clipped and saved all those annoying little bits of paper.

This week at D&W and Spartan Stores, if you purchased 10 General Mills products in one purchase, you would get 2 free tickets to go so Bee Movie. That’s an OK deal–but that’s a lot of [expensive] products. Thankfully, select General Mills cereals and fruit snacks were on sale this week–10 for $20. Still a little pricey, but with additional coupons and my re-used brown bags, I ended up walking out of the store with 9 boxes of cereal, 1 box of fruit snacks, and 2 free tickets (up to $24) to see Bee Movie for $16!

********************CONTEST ALERT!*******************
Now I just have to hive off a friend to go with me to see Bee Movie. If you’re buzzed to see a honey of a film with me for FREE, leave me a comment on this post and pick a number between 1 and 100. I’ll have my antennae up to see who is closest to my number and will get to bee my Bee Movie friend! Contest ends November 20. (Please, no stinging remarks about my waspish use of puns)
*********************************************************

Meijer was also running a special–if you bought a Rival roaster oven for $30, you also got a free chef’s knife and free turkey. I got the roaster oven, but they were sold out of the chef’s knives. I did get the 17 pound turkey, though. Using a $20 Meijer gift card from an ICR taste-test, I left Meijer with a new $45 roaster oven [wish I could brag about the $10 knife too, but oh well] and $25 turkey for just $10 out of my pocket!

Combination and planning. Find a deal, a sale, plus all the coupons you can muster, return soda cans and bottles, re-use brown grocery bags, and you’ll walk away from a store with more stuff and more money!

The first flap

2007-11-13T17:18:00.000-08:00

Ohhhhh...I've got the first chap-flap of the season.

You know, when your lips get chapped and you get that really big, hard chunk of lip skin that your front teeth are instinctively trying to grasp onto and rip off and leave a large, painful gaping hole of raw flesh exposed. That sticks up and gets caught every time you close your mouth our rub your lips together. That practically snags your tongue while you're talking.

It's taking all my willpower not to rip it off, but I know how painful it will be as soon as I do it. I keep putting on chap stick to help soften it, but I know it's there and every now and then I find my teeth creeping out to grasp the little flap.

"No, no don't do it", I scream inside my head. Think of the burning you will feel while trying to eat salt & vinegar potato chips around that gargantuan lip hole. Hot chocolate a little too hot straight onto raw, opened flesh-wound. Worse yet the dry, achey-cakey of trying to cover the hole with lipstick. Oh...resist! Resist!

Besides, we all know the little flap never tastes as satisfying and good as we think it will--even if it's Cherry flavor.

a meditation on medication

2007-11-12T12:47:00.001-08:00

This article at Postpartum Progress and recent human interactions in my life spawned this journal entry below.

I have a friend who has recently contacted me about the possibility of having PPD. The crazy thing is, she hasn’t even had her baby yet? Isn’t that crazy? You can’t suffer from PPD if you haven’t had a baby yet, right?

WRONG! SO WRONG! HOW IGNORANT ARE YOU?

Anyone can suffer a perinatal (that means during pregnancy or after birth) mood disorder. I did during my third pregnancy. And I think my friend is too.

It’s hard to give advice on what to do. I listen to myself talking to her and bet my words are just bouncing right out of her overly-stimulated, feeling-all-clogged-up ears, or that she sees my lips moving but her haze-riddled mood-muddled eyes just can’t make out the words. She knows she’s not her, her brain is telling her that, but it’s also sedating her to the point where there’s nothing more she can really do about it.

I’ve been there too. That’s how I know. I remember. And quiver. Like when you remember having a terrible flu with violent vomiting. It makes you quiver, shiver, and wish you never have to go through it again. And that no one else will have to either.

I have urged her on several occasions to talk to her doctor immediately. She’s complacent and waiting until her next appointment.

I say “you don’t have to suffer, you don’t have to struggle”, yet she chooses to grit her teeth and claw her way through another disheartening day. We can only make choices for ourselves although if I had my way I’d drive her straight to her doctor and walk her into the office proclaiming the dire straits of her daily life and demanding some darn-good care.

But I can’t do that. You’d never let me. I might even spend a night in the slammer if I try a stunk like that. But know I’m on you like a HAWK, my friend. I’m not letting you get away with suffering when there are so many options, so many therapies, so much support and reasons not to suffer. That is one good thing about living here and now. You have options. There is help availble. You don’t have to suffer. Amen and than you Jesus!

I found grace in a lot of areas–praying friends, family, support groups, psychiatry, books, an understanding spouse, but most of all in a little blue pill called Zoloft. I hate that I have to have medication to keep me ‘balanced’ and normal, but that is the reality of my life right now. I’m not strong enough to do all the other things in my life to achieve the balance I really long for. Someday, when the choices I make are all my own, when I’m not ruled, run, and ravished by raising kids I’ll be able to be more proactive about being healthy. Drinking oceans of water, walking and exercising, preparing healthy energizing foods for every meal, eating every meal, getting copious amounts of sleep, initiating life-giving social interactions, reading soul-stuffing books, and maybe even writing one too!

But until then, I take my little (now it’s yellow because I’ve switched to generic because of the cost factor) yellow pill every morning and send up a prayer for a good day while the little yellow pill slides down my throat with a gulp of tepid water.

Killin' me softly

2007-11-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

This is what's got me in the crapper today:
~Elli peeing (not just a little sprinkle-tinkle. Like adult-sized bladder emptying here folks) on my parent's brand new $1k pillow-topper mattress
~Addi pooping on the cushion of the window-seat at my parent's brand new home
~Rubbing in the "miracle cream" that doesn't seem to be doing jack
~listening to the breaks squeal and squeak each time I slow to a stop and agonizing over how the heck to make time to go get them fixed and then pay for them
~needing new windshield wipers
~watching Encore stagger around with an arched back, lame back end, and shake his painful ear

This is the good stuff that's not really lifting my spirits although it should be:
~Dan's day off
~iminent trip to the library
~full tank of gas
~parents in town
~LAB meeting tonight
~warmer day
~I have a van
~my family is safe and healthy
~we have food to eat and water to drink
~our internet is working right now
~Elli didn't need a shot today
~I am